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8 Taylor Swift Lyrics That Are Also Grounds For a Restraining Order

Just have Taylor Swift add “Your Honor” to these lyrics in front of a judge and we’re talking restraining order.


Got a long list of ex-lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane, Your Honor.


I get drunk on jealousy, Your Honor.


So go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy. That’s fine, I’ll tell mine you’re gay, Your Honor.


So I punched a hole in the roof, Your Honor.


Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes, Your Honor.


And that’s why he’s spinnin’ ’round in my head comes back to me, burning red, Your Honor.


I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream, Your Honor.


 

Written by Paul Lander

Paul Lander

Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Sudanese peace activist, Fatima Ahmed Ibrahim, to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of central Africa’s indigenous people. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that’s been performed on Maher, Letterman, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul’s time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar…

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