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Announcing the 2016 Fake News Award Nominees

For over fifty years, the Fake News Awards has been proud to honor the nonsense, the rubbish, the malarky, the baloney, the claptrap and the drivel in popular journalism!

Our media landscape is changing, and new technologies have allowed for great new fake journalists to propagate our culture quicker and more effectively than ever before. This has been a landmark year for bullshit stories and fraudulent journalism. 2016 has proven that fake news is a able to not only spam our newsfeeds, but to alter the very course of history.

The nominations are selected by the a distinguished group of trolls, idiots, grandparents and racist uncles. Voters are asked to make their decision based on the the article’s sharablity, lewdness and ability to incite. In no way is the content, quality nor validity of the stories considered.

Now, here are 2016 nominees:

Excellence in Deceptive Advertising:

“Disgraced! Ellen’s HUGE secret will make you shit your pants and hang yourself!”
By The Faux Beauty Co.

“Amber Heard is a Lying Whore: 5 Reasons Why You Can Still Go See Johnny Depp Movies”
By The Walt Disney Co.

“I Lost 10lbs and My Dick Got Bigger: Pope Francis Tells All!”
By The Inches4Inches Co.

Scariest Nonsense:

“Why Texas Teens Are ‘Pokemon Go’-ing Gay.”
By Ken I.

“My Dog Gave Me Zika(Even With A Condom)!”
By Geet Ah

“Licking Stamps: Are Your Kids Doing It?”
By Wyatt Wyatt

Excellence Political Manipulation:

“How ‘The Celebrity Apprentice’ Helped Put an End to Slavery.”
By Sneak E. Bugger

“Why Hilary Ruined the Rio Olympics with Syrian Refugees.”
By Slim Y. Bias

“Prince, David Bowie and Leonard Cohen: Who will the Clintons Silence Next?”
By Pull A. Fastone

Most Titillating Title:

“Britain Exits EU, David Cameron Enters Another Dead Animal:”
By Li N. Sombitch

“Hot or Not? From Ivanka to Tiffany: The Trump Children, Ranked.”
By Donald J. Trump

“Prince, David Bowie and Leonard Cohen: Bill Clinton’s Sexual History Exposed!”
By Lack O. Facts

Lifetime Achievement Award:

This year’s Lifetime Achievement award will honor President-Elect Donald J Trump For his “yuge” contribution to False Letters & Bullshit Sciences.

The award will be presented by last year’s recipient, MSNBC anchor and self-proclaimed war hero Brian Williams. Williams says that while he disagrees with many of Trump’s politics, he believes that his commitment to untruth is beyond reproach.

“Donald Trump has continued to bravely perpetuate falsehood in business, entertainment politics for over 40 years. Now, with his historical nomination to the Presidency of the United States, he shows us just how far one can go on simple lies and deception.”

The televised presentation of the Fake News Awards will air on Jan 10th, 2017 at 8pm EST on the Fox News Channel.

Written by Brandon Hicks

Brandon Hicks

Brandon Hicks writes plays performed by real people, and draws cartoons performed by fake people. His work has appeared in Splitsider, The Syrup Trap, American Bystander and regularly on The Rumpus, where he also serves as an associate cartoon editor. Unfortunately, he’s also Canadian.

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