Apology to Dalton

By Mike Rosolio

(note: the author is a Bond nerd. This may not be funny at all, but it’s cathartic for the writer. Let him be.)

Looking back on the world you can often find yourself rethinking things thought before. For years, we knew Caddyshack was the greatest comedy of all time. We knew that Michael Jordan was the greatest basketball player of all time. We knew that Abraham Lincoln was probably the greatest president, even though the first and only civil war as on his watch and he had a relatively short McTerm.

And we knew that Timothy Dalton was the worst Bond.

That was just a straight-up fact. The only people who disagreed were the ones who saw On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and Dalton’s Mum and Dad. The Widely Known And Agreed Upon ranking was probably something like this:

1. Sean Connery
2. Pierce Brosnan
3. Daniel Craig
4. Roger Moore
5. Timothy Dalton
6. George Lazenby

There is room for interpretation, primarily among 2-4. Brosnan played the most Connery-esque Bond, suave, unaffected, and proceeding with a smirk. Craig is the new-look gritty Bond. Roger Moore gets a lot of love for longevity (he made the most Bonds, 7), but only two of them were actually any good (Man With The Golden Gun and Spy Who Loved Me). Timothy Dalton was only in two Bonds, the second of which being the last for nearly seven years, and considering they were coming out every two years for the previous 30, that’s a big deal.

Let’s make something perfectly clear: Licence (sic) to Kill was a piece of crap. It turned Bond into a weird, Batman-style vigalante, and the only reason it was even recognizable as a 007 film was the theme song. But every Bond has made a crappy movie (Craig hasn’t, but will). Before we crucify Dalton for that film, remember this:

Diamonds Are Forever (Connery): This is the one that when it comes up on the TBS marathon, you still watch it, but face it, you’re not happy. There was the ridiculous lunar rover chase, the Two Blofelds, Jimmy Dean, of sausage fame, ACTING, and instead of Monte Carlo, Bond trapses through the Circus Circus. This is how much people love Connery. They give him a pass for this steaming turd.

OHMSS (Lazenby): Old George wasn’t any good. Diana Rigg and Telly Savalas at the top of their game. But Lazenby was atrocious, and Bond gets…married. Let’s move forward.

A View To A Kill (Moore): This one often gets ignored by the marathons because it was just that incredible. A sixty year old, wrinkly, podgy, slightly senile Roger getting dominated, like the D in BDSM, by six foot, sinewy, shredded ebony warrior Grace Jones. You also have Christopher Walken beginning to enter the Accidental Caracature Stage of his career* dying when his blimp crashes into the Golden Gate Bridge. Unbelievable.

Licence (sic) To Kill (Dalton): We’ve discussed this.

Die Another Day (Brosnan): The closest fusion between Bond and Japanese Anime. Lots of lasers, robotic suits, a ridiculous ice castle fight…thing, and, of course, the windsurfing on a glacier CGI apocalypse. The whole thing looked like a vehicle for a Halle Berry “Jinx” spin-off from hell.

*Walken’s career has moved through the following progression: 1. Oscar Winning Actor (Deer Hunter), Accidental Caracature (Batman Returns, Nick of Time), Intentional Caracature (Mouse Hunt, Cowbell Sketch)

That was a long explanation to make one single point. But the next is exceedingly valid: check out The Living Daylights.

Most people haven’t seen it. It’s NEVER a part of the marathons. Often, when it does come on, no one recognizes it. There are some strange parts: on the negative side, the defection-fake-defection storyline is a little convoluted, the awesome Smiert Spionem storyline kinda gets neglected, there’s a lot of mid-eighties Mujuadheen love (which just makes you feel weird to root for them to repell the invading infidels), and Joe Don Baker is Moore-era comically ridiculous.

But Dalton is incredible.

Something so strange happens while you watch The Living Daylights. The guy playing Bond… is acting. It’s not like watching a Bond movie, it’s like watching a guy really, actually win awards with this stuff. The character is interesting, human, flawed, affected, real. Daniel Craig is acting as well, that’s part of the whole idea of the new Bond reboot. But at best, he’s as good, not better, than Dalton. But there really isn’t a benchmark for great acting in Bond movies because there isn’t much. Moore’s big moment was in The Spy Who Loved Me, when he tells Anya he killed her boyfriend. It’s a B at best. Connery never really had to act, because that wasn’t the idea. Brosnan wasn’t bad, but the character he was playing was the reason they decided to beat the hell out of Craig’s Bond.

The shame about Dalton is that he never had a great one. Connery had the Big Three (From Russia With Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball), Moore had the two pretty good ones mentioned before, Brosnan had The World Is Not Enough which, when you Men In Black erase Denise Richards from memory, was one of the best ever, and Craig had Casino Royale. Dalton had half of a good one. But as far as an espionage movie, as being something more than Moore, the list should probably look like this:

1. Connery
2. Dalton
3. Craig
4. Brosnan
5. Moore
6. Lazenby

So give the guy another shot. It’s worth the two hours of Joe Don Baker.

10 comments on “Apology to Dalton”

1. Barry C said: (Wednesday 25 November, 2009 )

   Well, we obviously don’t agree on George Lazenby and we didn’t until now agree on Timothy Dalton.
   George *was* Bond - most people who deride OHMSS haven’t, in fact seen the film! Same with Ken Russell detractors - it seems to always come out in the wash that haven’t seen any of his films!
   For those who are Bond/ 007 ‘fans’ OHMSS is generally considered *the* best or one of the best Bond films. It is my personal favourite alongside ‘Goldfinger’ and the latest ‘Casino Royale’.
   We have Diana Rigg in the film too; probably the best John Barry 007 soundtrack (if JB wasn’t doing the soundtrack it never felt like a real James Bond film to me anyway) and the location Piz Gloria is beyong compare! Telly Savalas and Ilse Steppat are believable and scary villains.
   Now, Roger is a lovely, lovely bloke but I can never think of him as James Bond even though I own all the DVDs. He is my least favourite 007.
   QoS I am still trying to remember - I have watched it at home several times and once at the cinema - it wasn’t a Bond fim IMO. So, hopefully Daniel has made his dud.
   And, Timothy again *is* Bond! I liked both of his films especially TLD. LTK being very gruseome and dark.
   I also love DAF but I love films set in Las Vegas and again asuperb JB soundtrack!
   And, i don’t think Sean could have pulled off teh tender love scenes in OHMSS although being next to Diana Rigg may have made it easier.

   So my billing goes:
   Sean Connery
   Daniel Craig
   George Lazenby
   Timothy Dalton
   Pierce Brosnan
   Roger the Dodger

2. Margo said: (Wednesday 25 November, 2009 )

   Dalton was the best actor ever to play Bond. He played Bond by the book. So many Bond fans do not read books and they would not know this. Bond fans want plenty of bimbos and Dalton’s movies were not the “Himbo with the Bimbos” and a lot of Bond fans were disappointed. Men wanted to see a lot of sex with a variety of women like the Connery movies. However, Timothy made Bond so real and believable. He played Bond for what he really is a sociopath and scared me to death.

3. Patricia Georgini said: (Thursday 26 November, 2009 )

   Each of the actors who portrayed Bond were excellent in their own right but as far as I’m concerned, the best 007 of all was and still is Timothy Dalton. Don’t get me wrong, Sean used to be my favorite but I got tired of his popping in and out of bed every five minutes; and if I’m not mistaken often saw his double and/or stunt man in there more often than Mr. Connery. So after my third yawn, I flicked the channel to something more interesting. Pierce Brosnan was very energetic as well, but he was my all time favorite Remington Steel. But back to Mr. Connery, he did a few good Bonds, no doubt, but that’s it. Daniel Craig pleasantly surprised me and I do like him. TD’s two Bonds were awesome. He was straight-up and true 007, the Ian Fleming way and nothing anyone can say can convince me otherwise. Dalton brought emotion to his Bond…ruthless when he had to be, energetic as hell, compassionate and passionate when it was needed. His timing and presence are impeccable. He had charm and was humorous when the scenes called for it. I call TD the no-nonsense Bond. So Mike, mark this in your chronicles, along with TD’s mum and dad, as you say, I think he was the best Bond ever and it really is a shame that he didn’t do more of them. You underestimate this actor, first off because he is so underrated here in America and you’re still back there stuck on Connery, or just stuck! I suggest you watch Licence to Kill again and again, until you get it straight. But to each his own and you have a right to your opinion.

   In this present time, I’m wondering why Clive Owen or Hugh Jackman have never been approached to play Bond. Hmm, go figure!

4. Rosie said: (Saturday 28 November, 2009 )

   I do get sick and tired of people proclaiming views about the Bond films or anything else as if God had ordained their views.

   I don’t agree with your view that Timothy Dalton was the worst Bond; or that George Lazenby was the worst. I don’t believe there was any “worst” or “best” Bond. Each actor did a pretty good job, as far as I’m concerned.

   And I still think that “GOLDFINGER” is overrated. In my opinion, it is the second worst Bond film I have ever seen. The plot is pure shit. And I dislike it more than any other Bond film.

5. lazenbyland said: (Wednesday 02 December, 2009 )

   ‘And Bond gets… married’

   Have you actually read ANY of the Fleming novels?

6. Dave Morris said: (Tuesday 08 December, 2009 )

   I like that suddenly it’s fashionable to say Dalton was a great Bond after all, because I’ve been saying it for 20 years - and, let’s face it, smugness ain’t pretty but it is kind of satisfying!

   But don’t just write off LTK. There are some great scenes, eg Bond admitting to Sanchez that he’s “more of a problem eliminator”. Bond’s laughter kicks in just a split-second late, suggesting a very dark and damaged personality and (if Sanchez could have read people better) maybe a warning that this guy was here for something other than a job.

7. Paul Baack said: (Tuesday 08 December, 2009 )

   I completely agree — as, I think, most 007 fans would — with your assessment of Timothy Dalton’s portrayal of James Bond. (If not with your opinion of the rather terrific “Licence to Kill.”) I would have to grudgingly admit that if there was a flaw in his interpretation, it might be the essential charmlessness he brought to the role; correct for Ian Fleming’s hardbitten secret agent, a tough sell after the nothing-if-not-charming Roger Moore’s thirteen year tenure of affable jokiness.

   A couple of other quick (opinion) points: “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” is generally regarded to be one of the best, if not THE best, entries in the entire series. “The Man with the Golden Gun” is widely regarded to be one of the worst; “For Your Eyes Only” joins the aforementioned TSWLM as the two best Roger Moore vehicles.

   Good call, though, on “Diamonds Are Forever.” Yeesh… what a train wreck that was!

   One more point, which I find interesting: throughout your entire article, and all the comments that followed, the full name “James Bond” was not used even once. Just plain “Bond” seems to be the preferred callout — why do you suppose that is? To me, it’s more of a brand name than a character’s name.

8. Lou said: (Tuesday 08 December, 2009 )

   Die another day just screwed up Brosnan as Bond completely. Moore went well pat his sell-by date. Connery, Craig and Dalton, in no particular order, lead the pack by a massive margin.

   Can’t wait for the next one…

9. Mark said: (Tuesday 08 December, 2009 )

   First off I just want to say Brosnan’s best Bond film was NOT The World Is Not Enough. That was one of the worst Bond films I have ever seen. I would group it with the likes of DAD and DAF. It wasn’t just Denise Richards who qualified for the Razzies in that movie. The only notable thing about TWINE is that it is Desmond Llewelyn’s last movie as Q and that he sadly died in a car crash not long after making the movie. Brosnan’s best film as Bond was Goldeneye. The first Bond of the 90’s after a seven year absence was a spectacular movie that dealt with current issues such as the fall of the Soviet Union and the fear that their weapons stockpile was being stolen by corrupt officials and sold to hostile parties. Not to mention it spawned a brilliant video game that changed that industry.

   Getting back to the main point of this article though I do agree that Timothy Dalton made a great Bond. He is a superb actor who can clearly play any role but I do say I like him best as a villian i.e. see Hot Fuzz.

10. National Lampoon: praise for Dalton, a pan of for Lazenby « The HMSS Weblog said: (Thursday 10 December, 2009 )

    [...] Apology to Dalton, the story by Mike Rosolio has this to say about Timothy Dalton’s 007 debut in 1987’s [...]

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