Behind the Doors of Pixar’s Secret Archives

by Edith Wilson

Since its inception in 1997, critics have rejoiced in Pixar’s ability to infuse youthy, hip subject matter with deeper, darker and more philosophical facts of life (hence it’s industry moniker, “The Pauly Shore of Animation”). Up, it’s most recent animated feature, successfully punctuates an upbeat adventure story with a montage about aging and loss; but according to a recent LAtimes article, Pixar overlords were hesitant to include the segment for fear that its somber subtext might impose too harshly upon its lighter fare (such was the case with Up’s disastrous prequel, Operation Dumbo Drop).

It is a little known fact, however, that Up is not the first Pixar film to undergo intense montage-scrutiny; in fact, past producers were forced to cut montages in some of their best-known works. For reasons known only to Michael Eisner, The National Lampoon has been given exclusive access to Pixar’s archive of banished montages:

Wall-E

Midway through the theatrical release, WALL-E becomes exasperated when he believes that his lady love, EVE, is being tortured by robot repairmen. Originally, though, this cruel scene was only a small part of a lengthy montage about governmental abuses. In a veiled allusion to waterboarding, Pixar’s CG masterminds engineered an 8-minute long montage:

First, EVE’s durable outer shell is removed to expose her soft Pentium Processor; her sight and sound sensors are bound in sodden towels. Next, sturdy and reliable Ford repairbots direct torrential flows of water toward her motherboard, completely submerging her CPU and restricting air flow to her heat-sink and fan. EVE is eventually rescued by WALL-E; but in the great tradition of robot-submersion scenes  (Haley-Joel Osment in AI), EVE’s asphyxiation causes her to deteriorate into an unfeeling cyborg, leaving her incapable of reciprocating WALL-E’s super cute, implicitly sexual advances.