Blurbs Found on the Back Cover of The Very Best of Penthouse Forum

"Sex
with ghosts has never been my bag, but
after reading of Toni Morrison’s lesbian
romp in a hayloft with the angry spirit
of a murdered seamstress, I have to say
I might reconsider. The jazzy playfulness
of her prose, the elegant way she describes
an orifice, this is the stuff of both
a Nobel Laureate and a woman who’s seen
a thing or two. Filthy…and brilliant."

—Larry Flint

"Tom
Clancy, so often the purveyor of unnecessary
minutia in his descriptions of military
technology, redeems himself in ‘An Army
of One.’ He quite literally nails the
simple pleasures of pocket vibrators and
latex genitalia, and has somehow made
automated masturbation seem vital again."

—Erica
Jong

"Say
what you want about David Foster Wallace’s
footnote fetish; I say sex in the margins
has never been so exhilarating. When the
semi-colon makes love to the umlaut, that’s
po-mo-eroticism of the highest order."
—Umberto
Eco

"One
wouldn’t think there were cheerleaders
in turn-of-the-century Dublin, but apparently
James Joyce knobbed his fair share. His
bawdy tales of locker-room trysts and
quickies under the bleachers are everything
the equal of ‘Ulysses’ or ‘Dubliners,’
save his uncharacteristically sub par
title ‘Kissin’ the Blarney Bone.’"
—Harold
Bloom

"Best
book ever."
—Larry
King

"William
Faulkner begins his yarn of a sweaty Mississippi
orgy in the voice of a dim-witted sharecropper,
and then tells it all over again in the
flawless dictions of a hesitant debutante,
an alcoholic undertaker, and a family
of circus performers with an astounding
tolerance for pain. Breathtaking."
—Salman
Rushdie

"Norman
Mailer’s account of his tequila-soaked
week in Cancun over spring-break is bloated,
extremely long, and hauntingly magnificent,
much like the appendage he takes such
pains and so many pages to describe."
—Gloria
Steinem

"Jane
Austen, you dirty tart! Looks like someone
has had her fair share of suitors."
—A.S.
Byatt

"It
stands as a testament to Penthouse’s dedication
to irredeemable, self-indulgent filth
that they would publish the entire text
of my very own ‘The Corrections"
in this brilliant new omnibus. Thank you
for the attention."
—Jonathan
Franzen

"I
have no idea who Bobby Rivetti is, but
three chicks at a time? Damn!"
—Seamus
Heaney