Have you kissed your english teacher today? No? Good, because that would be totally inappropriate and probably open somebody up to some law suits. But, if you’re in college and not afraid of engaging in that kind of student-teacher relationship to ensure a passing grade, then go ahead, plant a wet one on the cunning linguist in your academic life.  It is after all, National grammar Day!

All across the land teachers, writers and people like you and me are practicing the elements of style just as E.B. White and that Strunk guy (Gary?) intended.

Once a year the elderly folk and even the youth participate in a handful of traditions associated with National Grammar Day.  Here are just a few that you should know, just in case you need a smart answer if someone working for the local news affiliate should ask what this holiday means to you:

1. Copy Editors Day Off- Newspapers, publishing houses magazines, websites and pamphleteers give they’re Copy Editors day off, ironically throwing caution into the wind for one day.  After all, shouldn’t writers be able to figure out when to use an ellipsis?

2. National Grammar Bee- Not quite as prestigious as the National Spelling Bee, the nation’s most brilliant-yet-outcast 7th graders gather in E.B. White’s hometown of Mount Vernon, New York and participate in this event not televised by ESPN as though it were a sport.  The children are read sentences, forced to memorize them and then must tell judges what punctuation (if any) is required, along with what letters must be capitalized.  Its a wonder this has yet to turn into a national phenomenon.

3. Abbreviation Ban- Twitter and Cell Phone companies band together to bar abbreviations from their text messaging services for 24 hours.  Users are not allowed to substitute the number 4 for the word “for,” the number “2″ in place of two or too or to, and instead of typing “LOL,” they must call back their friend and laugh in an audible fashion before they hang up.

4. The Grammar Day Parade- In towns all over the nation, people dress up as their favorite grammar rule, punctuation mark, writer, english teacher, or figure in grammatical history. You’ve never seen so many Strunk impersonators in your life. Most people choose writers that are famous for being drunks as it gives them a perfectly good excuse to show up soused to the festivities.  It’s like a mini-St. Patrick’s day. Let’s just say there are lots of Bukowski impersonators running around trying to get some from the Louisa May Alcott’s of the world.

5. Jay Leno’s headlines segment- Jay Leno does a “headlines” segment where he points out errors in newspapers. Really, it’s just like any other day for Jay.

So go out there, cross your t’s and dot your lowercase j’s and don’t forget to have a exclamatory blast on this National Grammar Day.  But before you do that, spot the grammar mistakes in this post.