We hear from our friends at Gizmodo that Fleshlight has made a iPad case you can make sweet sweet love to. Throughout history, man has loved his new devices. Technology has given a boner to men since the dawn of invention. From early sexy made tools and arrowheads of homo erectus to the steam engine, when there’s been a hot new gadget, man has fucked it.

5 other inventions through history man has had sex with:

Promethean Era: Fire- Man’s first instinct when feasting his eyes on the shiny crackle and sparkle of the flame was to get near it. When he felt the warmth on his erection from being nearby, he thought being inside of the fire must be bliss. He quickly learned what it was like to be wrong.

8th Century BC: Wheel – The first wheel is not the wondrous invention we know today. It probably lacked any sort of hole, space, or crevice between spokes for insertion. It was probably just a solid log which things were rolled over. Nonetheless, man saw this long plank of round wood and immediately attached a phallic identity to it, which more often than not brought forth the desire of primitive man to have a “swordfight” with it to proclaim his masculine dominance. This act often resulted in serious rectal damage. The same reaction and result repeated itself each time the wheel was reinvented.

1720: Bed warmer: This invention was practically made for fornicating, it was inserted into a bed to warm it up before retiring for the cold winters night. The term is still used for a sexual partner, and the device itself was phased out with the advent of rubber…

1878: Lightbulb: The electric light bulb was first patented in England by 1878 by Joseph Swan after having experimented since about 1850. Thomas Edison in the U.S. was working on improving the bulb patented by Swan and was granted a U.S. patent in 1879. By 1880 guys were fucking it.

1956: Microwave oven: (often referred to colloquially simply as a “microwave“) is a kitchen appliance that heats food by dielectric heating, using microwave radiation to excite polarized molecules within the food. Raytheon invented the first microwave oven after World War II from radar technology developed during the war. Named the ‘Radarange’, it was first sold in 1947. Raytheon later licensed its patents for a home-use microwave oven that was first introduced by Tappan in 1955, but these units were still too large and expensive for general home use. The countertop microwave oven was first introduced in 1967 by the Amana Corporation, which had been acquired in 1965 by Raytheon. By the fall of 1966 Tom Walksinson had fucked it, thus being the first man to fornicate with microwave and discover radiation induced testicular cancer simultaneously.

2012: iPad: A line of tablet computers designed, developed and marketed by Apple Inc., primarily as a platform for audio-visual media including books, periodicals, movies, music, games, and web content. The iPad was introduced on January 27, 2010 by Apple’s then-CEO Steve Jobs.^[20] Its size and weight fall between those of contemporary smartphones and laptop computers. By spring 2012 man will be fucking it.