CELEBRITY
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MOVIESMichael Jackson Greatest Hits: Jokes Edition
By Thane Economou and Rachel Arbeit
“She Went To Neverland”
- Johnny Depp, Finding Neverland
Michael Jackson, sadly passed away on June 25, 2009. Tours were cancelled, celebrities mourned, British housewives shrieked and the music world lost a genius.
For the man who entertained so many, it is time for us to give back. Is it too soon to make jokes? No, we’re National Lampoon.
These are the best Michael Jackson jokes of all time; we’ll just call it the Michael Jackson’s Greatest Hits: Jokes Edition.
A: Get out of my son.
Q: What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
Q: What do Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common?
A: They both have boys’ pants half off.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalog.Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with. And the other is a grocery bag.Q: How did police know that Michael Jackson is guilty?
A: Many children had fingered him.Q: What’s sex like for Michael Jackson?
A: Child’s play.
dude… you are amazingly unfunny… you may wish to keep on trying, but perhaps that’s enough for now.
@Uzi: Dude, you need to learn about the differences between penises and vaginas. Two authors. Four Balls.
These jokes got me hard. The guy used his finger as a rectal thermometer with Webster. Chill out. That’s what Michael’s doing.
[...] Original post: Micheal Jackson Greatest Hits: Jokes Edition | National Lampoon [...]
I know you have allot of jokes and comments on MJ’s death, but please leave Jesus out of this. Don’t make jokes about HIM because he is Lord God Almighty.
These should be funnier -_-
Like 2 are funny, they are either shockingly awful
Or just as fucked up as the bloke :/
“but please leave Jesus out of this” Fuck HIM and his stupid cult.
[...] LOS ANGELES—Michael Jackson, a talented child performer known for his love of amusement park rides and his hobby of collecting exotic animals for his Neverland Ranch, died from sudden cardiac arrest Thursday at the age of 12.The prepubescent singer, who enjoyed playing dress-up and often referred to himself as “the King of Pop,” was celebrated for his naïve exuberance and his generosity toward other children. “This is a terrible loss for music and for all of us,” brother Jermaine Jackson said. “He had so much potential to blossom into a gracious and mature human being. As it is, the world will never know the genius Michael Jackson might have become had he grown up.” The singer leaves behind a large body of hits, 25,000 unopened toys, and nearly $400 million of debt.Michael Jackson’s Greatest Hits: Jokes EditionBy Thane Economou and Rachel Arbeit – National Lampoon [...]
Apparntly it wasnt true Micheal jackson had a heart attack. he was found on the childrens ward having a srtoke.
seriously bizl!!! u need to shut up because u wouldnt even be a live without God! he created everything and He isnt a cult!
Here you have, another couple. Click on my name for more jokes like this!
“TMZ reports former pet Bubbles the Chimp was shocked upon hearing the news of his former owner.
Bubbles stated: “Although I am saddened during this difficult time, I take relief in knowing Michael is finally off my back”. ”
Top 10 Ideas for Michael Jackson Memorial Meal
————————————————————
10) The Way You Make Me Veal
9) Break of Prawn
8) Want to Be Starchin’ Somethin’
7) Rock Shrimp with You
6) Heel the World
5) Smooth Crimini
4) Pretty Young Wing
3) Billy Jean Almondine
2) Remember the Thyme Roast Chicken
1) Black or White Cookies
michael-jackson-dead-jokes(dot)blogspot(dot)com
Check it out the national lampoon michael jackson wake interviews outside of UCLA Medical Center http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzhhXnVarRg
National Lampoon Wake Coverage outside of UCLA Medical Center http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzhhXnVarRg
That’s a riot. Iran is an important issue.
With all the outpouring of love for Michael, we should not forget O.J.
http://cubicpolitics.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/lessons-from-michael-jackson-loving-o-j-simpson/
Dude this book is so prick he’s died and you bastards are over here making fuckin jokes!!! Fuck you guys
Oh my God, they even have a version of “Goodbye English Rose” dedicated to MJ’s nose… http://michael-jackson-dead-jokes.blogspot.com
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
A slightly different take on one of your’s:
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with. And the other likes to fuck young boys.
You missed my favorite:
Q: What aer they going to do with all of Michael Jackson’s plastic parts?
A: Melt them into Lego’s so little boys can play with him for a change.
As for you who don’t like the jokes.
QUIT FUCKING READING THEM.
Go get you copy of Redbook ar Cosmo and be all sweet and P.C. The rest of us want to laugh at this sick fuck one last time.
after michael jacksons death why did his plastic surgeon decide to melt down all of his work?
they decided to make little toys out of it so the little kids had a chance to play with him.
U guys r so F*cked up….the poor man just died and u r laughing at these retarted jokes about him…the people that made these jokes can go rot in hell. MJ was a world wide icon and will never be forgotten. i love u Michael! R.I.P
A good laugh, Thane, work on your moonwalk!!
and this is how we honor the man who is in the ginnis book of records for giving more money to charities than anyone ever IN HISTORY! Michael is the poster boy for misunderstood innocence. so much for innocent till proven guilty the man was an angel you clueless bastards have no idea about ALL HIS HUMANATARIAN WORK. GO FUCK YOURSELVES IGNORANT MOTHER FUCKERS!
yA KNOW i’VE NOTICED SINCE HIS DEATH ITS ALL THE FUCKIN IGNORANT MEN WHO HAVE BEEN HATEFUL ASSHOLES NOT THE WOMAN. MOST WOMAN THAT i TALK TO HAVE NEVER BOUGHT INTO ALL THE BULLSHIT LIES TO GET HIS MONEY. bUT LOW LIFE MEN WHO HAVE NEVER CONTRUBITED JACK SHIT TO SOCIETY AND NEVER WILL ARE THE FIRST TO JUMP ON THE WAGON AND TALK SHIT. WHAT GOOD DO YOU DO FOR THE WORLD. REMEMBER THIS ASSHOLES, karma is a mother fucker! ROT IN HELL IS RIGHT AMEN
You know, it is shit heads like you who continue to torment a guy after his death!!
It is the very this that broke him! Don’t you get it?
The nasty media full of insults just like yours are what killed his soul.
Then the doctors had to drug hi so he could escape the crap of the media, over and over again until he died!!
It’s like the play ground bully that never goes away!
What human being can take that for 50 years!!
Have some damn compassion!
those are not funny and he didnt molest any boys or guys or wat ever you guys are just big herkfaces i hope he sees you guys in heaven and finds a way to punish you! YOU ALL ARE VERY MEAN!!!! you guys dont know talent even if ti punched you in the face thats why you guys judge him and because he isnt whitee who cares about that stuff. TIS IS VERY OFFENSIVE TO PEOPLE EXSPECIALLY HIS KIDS THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD FEEL IF PEOPLE SAID STUFF LIKEK THAT ABOUT YOUR DAD!!!!!UGGHHHHH!!!!!
Ohdi maa di lun jihne eh post banaya…salleya maa de laude teri maa nu michael jackson ne hi chodeya c bhul gya..bhen de laude…
dude…….you are sooooo UNFUNNY! some of those jokes gave me a giggle or two but those jokes where kinda mean and stupid…………..
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dude thats sooo mean not cool at all those r very gross and so not nice and i like jokes those werent even funny dosnt matter if they were about MJ they werent funny just lame:(