NAG NAG NAG! A Morality Tale of Marital Ennui

dead wife

OH GOD, WHAT HAPPENED? I was out for just a minute, I swear!

What went wrong?! I’ve done the old “zone out the nagging wife” trick a million times, but never this! Oh, crimony. Oh, crimony willikers.

I’m going to jail. I killed my wife. I KILLED MY WIFE! No, no, calm down, Morty old boy. It wasn’t you. You don’t know for sure. You can’t know for sure, right? Just get out of there!

Oh, jeez o’pete. All the doors are locked from the inside. And there’s only two rooms in this apartment, and I’ve searched both. That means I had to have done it! Blunt force trauma right to the noggin! That’s not self-inflicted, you knucklehead!

Okay, get ahold of yourself. Just… just calm down. Maybe you just need to try zoning out again, and everything will be fine. Just tune out that pounding heart in your chest, forget the sounds of sirens in the distance and shouts from outside. Just zone it out.

Zone it out.

Zone… it…

kkk

GOD DAMN IT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

How did I get here? Who are these people? Are those Klansmen? I was in my house, then I zoned out again, and… I’m in a robe. I’m in a KKK robe. I don’t remember putting this on? Jeezus, the one in back has a shotgun. WHY AM I HERE?!

Oh no, they’ve notice me. They see me! What should I do?!

Uh, uh, don’t worry, Morty. Just do whatever you did before again. Just… just try it again, dammit!

Just block it all out!

Block it out!

BLOCK IT–

Pages: 1 2 3

http://nationallampoon.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/digg_48.png

http://nationallampoon.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/reddit_48.png

http://nationallampoon.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/stumbleupon_48.png

http://nationallampoon.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/delicious_48.png

http://nationallampoon.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/google_48.png

http://nationallampoon.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/myspace_48.png

http://nationallampoon.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/facebook_48.png

http://nationallampoon.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/yahoobuzz_48.png

This website uses IntenseDebate comments, but they are not currently loaded because either your browser doesn't support JavaScript, or they didn't load fast enough.

10601 comment2009-04-23+02%3A13%3A47NatLamp+Staff on “NAG NAG NAG! A Morality Tale of Marital Ennui”

martyd said: (Friday 24 April, 2009 )
But do you really miss your wife? I think in comparison, you are just saying that. Think long and hard, your happier now then you were.

FILMS

	RoboDoc A high tech efficiency initiative is taken to hilarious lengths in this timely send up of the American healthcare system. Buy it on Amazon! \| Buy it on iTunes!
	Endless Bummer When a surfboard is jacked, California slacker teens enlist the help of a legendary surfer to help them bring it back. Buy it on Amazon! \| Buy it on iTunes!
	Stoned Age Follow the exploits of Ishbo, a philosophical caveman who yearns for more out of life Buy it on Amazon!