Office Pranks

By Harmon Leon

OFFICE PRANK: Buried Treasure of One-Eyed Pete!

THINGS NEEDED:

- A Treasure Map
- 1 Parrot

Find co-workers hanging around the water cooler, and tell them you’ve made an astonishing discovery: you’ve found an old treasure map hidden behind the filing cabinet! (Note: tell people the day before that you’ve “made moving the filing cabinet my primary action item!” to avoid suspicion here.) According
to the map, hidden somewhere in the office is the treasure of One-Eyed Pete-a salty old pirate who sailed the seven seas back in the 1800’s. Legend has it that One-Eyed Pete’s fabled treasure is worth millions.

Placing the parrot on your shoulder, tell everyone that you’ll share One-Eyed Pete’s treasure if you work as a team to find it within the confines of the office. Split the office into three different groups. Refer to people as “Matey.” Occasionally blurt out “Yarrr!” to give yourself a bit of business. Tear up the floorboards with a pick and shovel.

After hours of hectic searching, proclaim, ” I guess we’ll never find One-Eyed Pete’s treasure!” Go back to desk and enjoy hearty laugh at coworkers’ expense.

OFFICE PRANK: Biblical Office Plague!

THINGS NEEDED:

-Locust
-An Altered Bible
-Large Garbage Bags

Come into the office one day, reading the Bible, paying close attention to biblical plagues. Like Nosterdamus, show direct correlation to biblical plagues and events which have occurred recently in the office during casual Friday. Perk coworkers’ interest in Bible passages which mention locusts, claiming your office will soon be infested with this vermin due to a prophecy written thousands of years
ago-and there’s nothing anyone can do about it!

Most likely coworkers will scoff, claiming that you are dribbling the ranting of a madman. At that point, jump on top of the snack table in the breakroom, and proclaim, “You’ve been warned!” Drop the subject. Later in the day, release locust, which you should have inconspicuously hidden in garbage bags under your desk the night before. Amongst the screams of horror, say to everyone, “See, I told you so!” Have a hearty laugh. Treat yourself to a cheese danish.

OFFICE PRANK: Amish Foolery!

THINGS NEEDED:

- A Quaker Oats Beard
- A black brim hat
- butter churning facilities

Get to work early and remove all the electrical appliances. When questioned, proclaim that the office is now Amish-compliant, in accordance with a vague turn-of-the-century building ordinance. Stress this point by wearing a black-brimmed hat and overalls. Claim that you are “Milo-Tiller of the Internet.”

If your boss asks for a company report say you will finish it as soon