Origin of Swine Flu traced to Mexico City El Pigglyo Wigglyo

by Shawn Norris

Mexico City - It seems that the World Health Organization has finally been able to pinpoint ground zero for the swine flu pandemic. Officials have found that the original inception of the deadly Swine Flu Virus was at a Mexico City, El Pigglyo Wigglyo.

There was a grocer who had a farm and Pedro was his name-o. P-e-d-r-o. P-e-d-r-o. P-e-d-r-o and that’s how Swine Flu became-o. A pandemic of epic proportions; even E.B. White couldn’t have spun a web around a plague this delicious. (He’s the guy who wrote Charlotte’s Web: Please stop reading if you don’t get the joke.)

People all over the globe are outraged at this company. Pigglyo Wigglyo is an obvious knock-off of the US owned and run Piggly Wiggly, only with lower prices, a logo of deathly-ill pig in a sombrero, and prices more outlandish than the plot on LOST. If you love Mexican bacon more so than Canadian bacon (not the movie), now is the time to turn your head and cough, because that’s what all the sick folk are doing in Mexico.

Oh, and then they promptly die a horrible flu-like death of coughing up phlegm and diarrheaing like a world champion that would make Montezuma climb out of the toilet and apologize to you personally.

Bacon lovers all over the globe are going into cardiac arrest (would’ve happened anyway) over the fact that pig would actually contract a life-threatening disease (again, looking past heart disease) and infiltrate their lunch break routine of a BBTMmL (Double Bacon, Tomato, Mayonnaise, and maybe Lettuce) sandwich, a two liter of Jolt Cola and a half pack of Lucky Strikes. People are losing their minds over the fact that the over-eating of pork products might actually be detrimental to your health!

I mean who could ever foresee the fact that pigs, the same pigs that eat ANYTHING dead/alive and/or otherwise, the same animals that love to roll around in their own feces all day long while having sex with other pigs without the use of a prophylactic…could ever contract some type of dirty horrible swine disease!?!?