SASKATOON, Saskatchewan – When Horace Bissenet moved into apartment 422 at 1335 Esterwood Avenue in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan he weighed a mere 650 pounds.
At that weight, he was still able to get around, go shopping, and basically care for himself.
Eight years later, at three thousand one hundred fifty-four pounds that is no longer the case, so when Horace had to be taken to the hospital last week for an emergency  appendectomy , it wasn’t that easy to get him out of his house.
Thirty men showed up to try and get Bissenet …

Oliver Hardy.  Lou Costello.  Jackie Gleason.  John Candy.  Chris Farley.  All of them have one thing in common: in their current state, they offer as many relevant thoughts as Rush Limbaugh.
 
And now it appears that Rush’s career as a political pundit has all been one big warm up for his real dream in life: to join this exclusive fraternity of great comedians.  Ever since his recent comments attacking birth control users and labeling Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke a “slut,” Limbaugh has defended himself by claiming he is nothing but …

Contributing Editor, and Interview Show host, Brian McCarthy has been working in conjunction with the Nixon Presidential Library and Museum assisting them with their special exhibit: “Richard to Patricia, Love Letters from 1938-1040.”
Brian is pleased to show us an upcoming excerpt from this display, which shows these two young people in the full bloom of their first love…
 
March, 1938
My dearest Patty Cakes,
When the wind blows, I only think of Thee, for it is the fresh breath of a springtime to come, which cannot compare to the eternal bliss I feel when …

 
Sophie Monk + Kristanna Loken = The best Lesbian kiss You Will Ever See.
 

 
Ian Ziering’s abs make Brad Pitt & Ryan Gosling look like fat SCHLUBS.

 
 
The plot has been meticulously crafted for centuries.
 
Angelina Jolie may or may not be in it.

 
 
If you don’t, Will Sasso will smash your face.

 
 
You’ll recognize stuff from other movies and it will be funny because you’ll be like  “Oh I remember that from that,” and then you’ll laugh and laugh and tell your friends.

Ludacris does the voice over… and curses a lot.
 

 
The longest opening credit …

BURMINGHAM, Alabama – A man removed his own appendix – but he saved money by doing it himself with handy household items!
Horace Wilfrey, an admitted alcoholic, and proud of it, had been having recurrent pain on his lower right side.   Having been a fan of doctor shows his whole life, and having a mother who cleaned hospital rooms, they combined their medical knowledge and came up with a diagnosis.
He knew the liver pain he was used to living with was in the upper right quadrant, so the lower right quadrant …

In a recent news story, it was revealed that for many years the Mormon church has been posthumously baptizing members of other faiths in order to “convert” them in the afterlife.  This ritual became public knowledge when Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel “prematurely” received the following letter…
 
Dear Ex-Jew,
Surprise!  Welcome to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints–the fastest growing religion in the world!  You have been selected for a posthumous Baptism into the Mormon faith!  Don’t worry about the need to fill out complicated paperwork…it’s all very simple!
You know …

Every waking moment in one of the hundreds of thousands of diners in this vast land we call The United States of America, a customer is receiving a steaming plate of palatable goodness from the outstretched arms of a Barb, Gina, or Denise. Maybe they’ve ordered a reuben or a turkey on rye with melted swiss (hold the mayo); maybe they’re sinking their teeth into a grilled cheese on wheat with bacon and tomato and a side order of fries. While these meals may not sound exactly alike or even …

The web is filled with dating sites and social media networks offering you a chance at love.  But who uses these sites, and do they really work?  Those were questions we wanted answered.  Lucky for us, over the course of the last few years, writer Conor Galvin has systematically worked his way through almost every major dating site on the web, from match.com, to supposed screwfest Adult Friend Finder.  Here are his findings.
 
Just a little background on Conor before he jumps right in to his experiences on these sites.  He’s …

Sometimes the titles of TV shows don’t accurately represent what the show is really about.  So we decided to take a crack at giving these shows a more honest title.

GAME OF THRONES
 
 

WALKING DEAD
 
 

BIGGEST LOSER
 
 

THE KILLING
 

KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS
 
 

BREAKING BAD

THE MENTALIST
 
 
And, even though the show I co-created is completely irrelevant, cancelled and not even an after-thought in anyone’s mind, I figured I can’t rightfully give shit to other shows and ignore the fact that mine sucked.
 

$#*! MY DAD SAYS
 
read more at Thesefriesaregood.com

Article source: http://www.thesefriesaregood.com/articles/if-tv-shows-had-honest-titles/

Meeting ladies can be hard, even for a super stud like yourself! Sometimes it’s just as simple as mail ordering a sex robot from Japan, but other times you actually have to leave your house/apartment/ or moms basement and actually speak to members of the opposite sex. If this happens, DON’T PANIC. We’ve got you covered with a sure-fire hit list for picking up chicks like the baller you act like you are on facebook.
A Bookstore:

This one is almost too easy. Just carry around any big ass book other than …