Sex and the Sequel Bound to Come too Early

By Anayat, Ben Brock, Thane Economou, and Gabe Grossman

Illustrations by Kris Hanson.

With the newest Sex and the City sequel beginning production, agents and managers alike are scrambling to find the synopsis of Darren Star’s latest magnum opus. The project is so super secret that even Sarah Jessica Parker hasn’t read the story. However, through nights of diligent research and highly illegal espionage, our crack team of unpaid slackers apparently found ten never before seen scripts of the latest addition to the Sex and the City Saga.

Now, National Lampoon presents the findings of our hard working young men: The ten uncovered Sex and the City sequel scripts.

The girls decide they no longer can deal with men. Samantha then begins a massive lesbian orgy, wherein the girls give pleasure to one another and moan really loud and it gets really hot and Charlotte is totally a freak and they are all like naked and stuff.

Crewmembers aboard the USS Enterprise invite the four Sex and the City gals into their midst in this comedy of errors. When a warp core generator meltdown renders the majority of the crew unconscious, its up to Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda to get this star-crossed voyage back on track. Also starring Emilio Estevez as Lt. Commander Data.

Rob Schneider stars as a cop going undercover as “one of the girls” because Miranda is suspected of running a child pornography ring. As the hijinks ensue, Schneider gets bit in the nuts by Eddie Griffin, learns Miranda’s horrible secret, and then Samantha has sex with him.