25: Edgar Allan Poe – Sullen…but refined.

24: Lemmy from Motorhead – His first band was called “‘Stache Mouth.”

23: Mike Ditka- Polish sausage… Ditka… Ditka’s stache… Bears.

22: Mario – If his brother was as stache-endowed as he, it might have been Super Luigi Brothers.

21: Hulk Hogan – You won’t like me when I’m shaven…

20: Nadine Rajabi- Chief editor of The Zaz. Please don’t fire me.

19: Chester A. Arthur – When combined with the mutton chops, you almost forget he was an awful president.

18: Danny Trejo – He needs a machete to shave that thing.

17: Ted Nugent- Made from the hide of a deer he shot and killed while bow hunting.

16: Yosemite Sam – His EYES are a part of his mustache! F*ck Bugs Bunny.

15: Paul Teutul – A master with a welding torch. And a razor.

14: John Waters- Pencil thin, poised, and perverted.

13: Robert Goulet – Chemically, it’s scotch. Visually, it’s sauve. Scoave. La da dee da da laaa….

12: Steve Prefontaine – When they said “LEGEND,” they were referring to something else.

11: Rollie Fingers- Even curvier than his curveball.

10: Alex Trebek – What is Canadian Badass?

9: David Crosby – Who can forget the epochal band of the 60′s: Crosby’s Killer Stash, and Young

8: Salvador Dali- His second greatest work of art behind The Persistence of Memory.

7: Groucho Marx – When the “You Mask” is defined by the ‘stache, you know you’ve arrived.

6: Sam Elliot – Sometimes there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And I’m talking ’bout Sam Elliott. That is, if his time and place were the Old West in the 1870s. Mijo!

5: Charlie Chaplin- He did not invade Poland.

4: Friedrich Nietzsche – God is dead, but the Cliffhanger is not.

3: Tom Selleck- Redefining the Private Investigator and the Mustache, all in the same show.

2: Burt Reynolds- This is what being a man is.

1: Wilford Brimley- Fun fact, mustaches cure diabetes.

Gabe Grossman and Mike Rosolio contributed to this article .