The Creepiest Product Mascots

20. The California Raisins
Food should never sing to you, especially dried fruit.

19. Punchy (Hawaiian Punch)
This guy isn’t so much creepy as he is an asshole.  He goes up to an unsuspecting tourist and asks if they’d like a nice Hawaiian punch and punches them in the face.  If I ever met punchy I would ask him what the capital of Thailand is after making fun of him for wearing a dress.

18. The Michelin Man
And on the 12th day the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man took a dump, thus creating the Michelin Man.  Well, that didn’t really happen, but if it did, the results would be damn close.  The Michelin Man is made of tires and has a strange obsession with petting other tires.

17. The Jolly Green Giant
What isn’t creepy about a giant green man wearing a tunic of leaves that barely cover his own pea pod?

16. Mr. Clean
Let’s be honest, the only guy that actually enjoys cleaning is Danny Tanner.  Mr. Clean hangs around the house and leers at women getting down on their knees and bending over in those hard to reach places just to see a little T & A.  Your name may be Mr Clean, sir, but you are definitely dirty.

15. Mac Tonight aka McDonald’s Moon Man (McDonald’s)
He rides through the city on a cloud of god knows what, playing a piano while wearing sunglasses on his large, pointy, crescent moon head, at night.  He’s obviously high and the Pied Piper for stoners.

14. Poppin’ Fresh (Pillsbury)
The Pillsbury Doughboy is the original naked chef.  He’s always lurking in the kitchen, just waiting for you to finger him in his special spot.

13. The Helping Hand (Hamburger Helper)
The Helping Hand is a rogue four-fingered glove.  No hand, no body, just a hand sans one finger donning a clown nose, eyes and a mouth.  He pops up when you least expect him, hoping to find a helpless housewife who needs help in other places than the kitchen.

12. The Most Interesting Man in the World (Dos Equis)
The self-proclaimed Most Interesting Man, is most likely a rapist and ruffies unsuspecting women that are mesmerized by his bullshit stories. If you looked like a tanned Kenny Rogers and sounded like the owner of Men’s Warehouse with a spanish accent, you’d probably do the same thing.

11. The Energizer Bunny (Energizer Batteries)
His secret to keep going and going?  Meth.  It’s a perfect explanation to why he’s naked, wearing sandals and banging on a drum at all hours of the night.