The List: Nails in the Coffin - Top 30 Career Suicides

top 30 career suicides “This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper.” T.S. Eliot, known for his positivity, remarked that the dramatic explosive apocalypses depicted in fiction rarely mirrored reality, in which ends come about slowly and sadly and completely explosion-free.

Luckily, careers have been ending in a ball of flames for years. I say luckily, because the cataclysmic fall off one’s pedestal is often enjoyable for the people below. And it’s for this reason that we’re proud to present: the Top 30 Career Suicides of All Time!

matt leblanc

30. Matt LeBlanc - At one time he received a million dollars an episode for playing Joey on Friends. However, after his spin-off “Joey” self-destructed, little as been seen from him. He lives on only in the constant Friends repeats on TBS and my VHS copy of Lost In Space.

gigli

29. Gigli - The movie that ended “Bennifer” and the acting career of J-Lo. Some of the people involved in this project will have to change their names if they want to work in movies again.

lisa marie novak

28. Lisa Novak - A former NASA astronaut drives 900 miles in a Dignity Diaper to kill her ex-lover’s (also a NASA astro-nut) new girlfriend. This sh*t practically writes itself

george armstrong custer

27. George Armstrong Custer - Nothing kills a career faster than a few thousand Lakota Indians who’ve gone scalp happy. Someone should have slipped Custer a slide rule, or an abacus, or whatever other fancy type of countin’ machine they had back then to help him figure out he didn’t take enough men on that little road trip of his to do battle with one of the largest gatherings of severely pissed off Native Americans west of the Mississippi.

kevin smith

26. Kevin Smith - The cult director matured a lot as a writer, director, and Hollywood hack when he made “Jersey Girl.”

mischa barton

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126114 comments2009-06-24+07%3A18%3A59NatLamp+Staff on “The List: Nails in the Coffin - Top 30 Career Suicides”

christina said: (Wednesday 07 October, 2009 )
in this picture of janet and justine. is janet showing her breast on stage.
Emma said: (Tuesday 17 November, 2009 )
yo
Emma said: (Tuesday 17 November, 2009 )
Im in english at the moment aT SCHOOL :) its boring!
Nigel said: (Monday 30 November, 2009 )
haha lol. Im doing homework… or at least meant to be :)
School fails up the bum!
Mexican said: (Friday 04 December, 2009 )
Im sittin in a parkin lot drinkin beer, found a wireless connection so im about to just party alone here. chiken chencilo no hablo english !!!
mexican said: (Friday 04 December, 2009 )
o yea and macalkin is a fagggg
ada said: (Thursday 10 December, 2009 )
mütiş bir insandır kendisi micheal jackson da aynjı onuda çok seviyorum
arlinda said: (Tuesday 15 December, 2009 )
esht shum foto e mire tung kosova hello chris
arlinda said: (Tuesday 15 December, 2009 )
i’m not speak very good english because i’m from kosova very good chris you my favorite best siger with t.i bye from arlinda kosova albania aaaaaaaaa:p
natalia said: (Monday 21 December, 2009 )
me gusta mucho macaulay culkin…y espero q triunfe q no siga la droga q el amor lo aga cambiar es un gran pibe love q dios te vendiga aca en la argentina te quieren mucho ya tenes muchas fans yo soy una de ellas
teri said: (Wednesday 30 December, 2009 )
hey all you foreign ppl seem so hot ;p
muah
Jared said: (Thursday 04 February, 2010 )
Haha, nice job on the pictures and the writing. I lol’d at the subtle mention of Joaquin Phoenix’s “BYE GOOD”.
rold said: (Sunday 07 February, 2010 )
haha you are faney
popdicks said: (Sunday 07 February, 2010 )
eww ur g@y

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