The List: Nails in the Coffin - Top 30 Career Suicides

20. MC Hammer - He was 2 Legit to Quit and you couldn’t touch him.  Then, he was broke.  With only a pair of parachute pants to show for it.

19. Adolf Hitler - He never got the memo about invading Russia.  They can do like a gajillion and eight shots of vodka and still sweep men’s gymnastics.  Why didn’t he just stick with Belgium?  They’re right next door and aren’t particularly hardy.  The war would have been done in an hour and Hitler would have died the fat and happy owner of a chocolate factory instead of the recipient of a freighter full of hate mail and a face full of lead.

18. Katie Holmes - I could see where Katie would think marrying Tom would be the best thing to ever happen to her.  Unfortunately, that was the last thought she would have before being brainwashed and giving birth to an alien clam baby.

17. The Donner Party - Little known fact about the Donners: They were journeying West to star in 1846 to star in what was sure to become the hottest sitcom of the time: “Diggin’ Fur Gold”. Half way through the ride, they decided they’d be better off in a reality show–and they lost the real meat and potatoes of their premise. Take note, Mr and Mrs Pratt.

16. The ShamWow Guy - He learned the hard way that prostitutes are, in fact, people too, with rights and everything.