The List: Nails in the Coffin – Top 30 Career Suicides

24 June 2009 View Comments

By NatLamp Staff
National Lampoon is the leading provider of sophomoric humor, follow us at @nationallampoon

5. Orson Welles – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5LkDNu8bVU

michael vick

4. Michael Vick – Once a great quarterback, suspended indefinitely from the NFL and sentenced 23 months to jail for fighting dogs, racketeering and owning something called a rape stand. His 59% completion rate certainly didn’t help.

adam and eve

3. Adam and Eve – God tells you not to eat an apple. A talking snake tells you to eat the apple. If you are this stupid, you deserve to be banished from the garden of Eden.

howard dean

2. Howard Dean – The frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, Howard Dean made the common error of getting way too excited and yelling enthusiastically. Frightened, Democratic voters turned on him and nominated the only man in America who would never show any kind of enthusiasm.

michael richards

1. Michael Richards – No one ever thought that Kramer from “Seinfeld” would ever be relevant after the show ended. He was a one-trick pony, after all, so it seemed completely unnecessary to commit career suicide when you really don’t have a career to begin with. Michael Richards, however, found the perfect formula for destroying the career he didn’t have: (Bad stand-up routine + public meltdown) x racial epithets aimed at specific audience members = career suicide gold! For his next trick, Richards will pee on JFK’s eternal flame!

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