The List: Nails in the Coffin – Top 30 Career Suicides
National Lampoon is the leading provider of sophomoric humor, follow us at @nationallampoon
5. Orson Welles – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5LkDNu8bVU

4. Michael Vick – Once a great quarterback, suspended indefinitely from the NFL and sentenced 23 months to jail for fighting dogs, racketeering and owning something called a rape stand. His 59% completion rate certainly didn’t help.

3. Adam and Eve – God tells you not to eat an apple. A talking snake tells you to eat the apple. If you are this stupid, you deserve to be banished from the garden of Eden.

2. Howard Dean – The frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, Howard Dean made the common error of getting way too excited and yelling enthusiastically. Frightened, Democratic voters turned on him and nominated the only man in America who would never show any kind of enthusiasm.

1. Michael Richards – No one ever thought that Kramer from “Seinfeld” would ever be relevant after the show ended. He was a one-trick pony, after all, so it seemed completely unnecessary to commit career suicide when you really don’t have a career to begin with. Michael Richards, however, found the perfect formula for destroying the career he didn’t have: (Bad stand-up routine + public meltdown) x racial epithets aimed at specific audience members = career suicide gold! For his next trick, Richards will pee on JFK’s eternal flame!


"Rent-A Beard" Service Opens In Hawaii
Finding Herbert
Infant Genius Admitted to College
Fat, Drunk and Stupid: A Totally Unbiased Review












Animation: Rick Perry (actual audio)
Creepiest Online Dating Profile Ever?
FDA Approves Putting Picture Of Trish On Cigarette Packs
Greece Offers to Repay Bailout with Giant Horse
He Said / She Said: The 13 Worst Places To Have Sex
High School Homecoming Playlists