The LIST: Top 20 2-in-1’s

11. Security Guards: A failed State police officer and an overweight seat warmer in one dough-filled uniform. This is his island and you’re his native servants.

10. Spork: The go-to silverware of KFC. Are they only made in plastic, or can I get one of these wonderful utensils in sterling silver for home? Lets get Billy Mays on this product I’m sure he’ll…or Ed McMahon, he did wonders for Publishers Clearing…Ok maybe just leave it in plastic then.

9. Sparks: An alcoholic energy drink.  Brilliant.  Step by step instructions for how to perform CPR can be found on the back of each can.

8. Sexting: Have you ever wanted to have sex, but couldn’t because you already had a previous engagement to text your friend? Now you can kill 2 birds with 1 stone, a stone that’s monitored by the government for terrorist activity.

7. Metrosexual: Who says you can’t be straight and look good while doing it?  Lots of people!  But the nimble meterosexual is simply paying attention to his inner homosexual, while still banging “chicks.” Emphasis on the “chicks” part.

6. Brunch: The only meal where it’s socially acceptable to get trashed before noon. Mimosas don’t count as booze if they’re accompianied by eggs benedict and tuna salad.

5. Cankle: According to evolution, a human’s body is supposed to evolve and adapt overtime to become more efficient. So to become more “efficient,” humans have slowly morphed certain parts together into one: the calf and the ankle.  The resultant “cankle” might not be so awesome from a reproductive standpoint, but it’s surely evolution at its finest!

- - editors addition: yes, that is Miley Cyrus on the beach with cankles, please note the parallel lines from the heel to the knee.  Miley was also considered for a “Sexting Photo” but we liked the one above better, so here is Miley Cyrus photo anways.

4. Mullet: The best in bringing business up front and the party to the to the back. Jam just a light dusting of classlessness into anyone with the Kentucky Waterfall.

3. Threesome: It’s a two-on-one. If it becomes a two-IN-one, someone’s not having a great time.

2. Tootsie Pop: How many licks does it take to get to the center of the childhood obesity problem?  Only the owl knows…and he’s been dead for many years.