What do vodka, NBC and television magicians have in common? Actually, as that line is constructed, it becomes apparent that there could be a lot of through-lines. But the one initially decided upon is only apparent if you live in a heavily-advertisable population; one of the ‘big media markets’ where poorly timed traffic lights give maximum exposure to bigger-than-your-house’s-house billboards. First, a bit of history:

In the early nineties, music video director Mark Pellington made a killer film for U2, firing a million random words just a bit faster than the mind could process them. The video ended with the word ‘Believe’, and the middle LIE turning visibly red. And a faux-philosophy was born.

When Dennis Hopper’s photojournalist waxed, “Did you know that ‘if’ is the middle word in ‘life’?”, millions of pseudo-intellectuals immediately piggy-backed on the idea. The first time it is discovered (as with Hopper and Pellington), it’s sort of thought-provoking. The eleventh time, it’s ‘Whoomp There It Is’ or your mother saying, ‘Bling-Bling.’

If you drive around Los Angeles – one of the hot-zones of billboard bombardment – you will see not one, not two, but THREE separate advertisements all using the ‘beLIEve’ dog trick at the same time. For your consideration:

-Criss Angel, who gets credit for being a magician despite doing all of his tricks on recorded television with an effects budget, as a new collaboration with the actually talented Cirque Du Soleil at the Luxor. The title? ‘Criss Angel’s Believe.’

-The Event, an NBC show seemingly looking to fill the ‘Program With A Million Secrets Than Never Get Revealed’ void left by Lost, is promoted with the tagline: ‘What will you believe?’

(note: This is a legit miracle that the most frustrating part of a historically frustrating TV show is the part that’s being spun-off and repackaged. It’s sort of like someone seeing All In The Family and greenlighting a show called, ‘Epithets: a Journey to the Center of Ignorance.’ Kind of misses the point. Anyway…)

-Belvedere Vodka, which you know is high quality because it has a nice house on the bottle, has a billboard out there with a blindfolded drinker and, in big letters, BELieVE. Some media people are claiming it’s actually an attempt to get ‘Belve,’ a shorthand for Belvedere, into the lexicon. But the problem with M.C. Escher is that there isn’t a ‘right’ way to look at it.

The point is not that three different companies are using the same hackneyed slogan, it’s that they’re all doing it at the same time. I think this speaks to a larger problem: there is only one advertising company.

Millions of conspiracy theorists talk about a great, singular world government that is responsible for every newsworthy political decision across the globe. They point to the World Bank as evidence of this, protesting whenever decent bands will be present. That is closer to ridiculous than not. But advertisers aren’t faceless elderly white guys with gold rings and Persian cats. They’re guns for hire who will make a brick of Top Ramen look like gold rather than beef bouillon. And like any mercenary, there isn’t a sense of loyalty.

Start looking for through-lines as you drive through a billboard-centric area. You’ll see an awful lot of fruit in booze ads, Demetri Martin-esque one-liners under fuel-efficient cars, and a mandate to ‘Express Onself’ via your selection of eyewear. Call this the opening salvo, but more attention will be paid to this unique possibility: there’s one man behind the curtain hellbent on selling you anything and everything.

Who knows, you may start to believe it.