Things You Didn’t Wanna Hear


watching tv

“The doctor said it was the most placenta he’d ever seen! Oh, look how dilated you are, honey!”

nasty old threeway

“In our family, son, there’s only one was to properly ask for a daughter’s hand in marriage. Three-way.”

bloody pool

“Dude! That was an AWESOME backflip!”

jamie kennedy bats elevator

“Whoa, looks like the elevator’s stuck. Guess we’ll just have to wait it out, huh? Hi, I’m Jamie Kennedy. Meet my friend, a cloud of shrieking vampire bats.”

eat the chicken

“Um. Hi. Look, this is very important. You didn’t eat the chicken, did you?”

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1 comment on “Things You Didn’t Wanna Hear”

  1. Sad said:

    Yeah, George Carlin was a genius all right! In this stunning ripoff to his material, the only thing you forgot to do was to actually make them funny!

    Does National Lampoon pay for this stuff? I mean, the cover story about “sandwiches”. WTF? If this is the case, please let the Lampoon die and stick to your individual blogs so the people you make laugh by shoving pencils up your noses can twitter your newest material.

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