CELEBRITY
SPORTS
GAMING
MOVIESThings You Didn’t Wanna Hear
“In my apartment, buddy, there’s only one way to properly ask me to tape the game for you. Three-way.”
“The bad news is you’ve got inoperable cancer. But here’s the good news: we’re starting a sketch troupe!”
“Says here this quicksand is home to urine piranhas. They burrow into the… ah. The urethra. Well. This isn’t good.”
“Congratulations, you’ve got the jon. Go report to wardrobe and we’ll get you set up with a semen bib.”
“Whoa, looks like the elevator’s stuck. Guess we’ll just have to wait it out, huh? Hi, I’m Jamie Kennedy. Meet my friend, Fran Drescher Karaoke-Bot 5000.”
Yeah, George Carlin was a genius all right! In this stunning ripoff to his material, the only thing you forgot to do was to actually make them funny!
Does National Lampoon pay for this stuff? I mean, the cover story about “sandwiches”. WTF? If this is the case, please let the Lampoon die and stick to your individual blogs so the people you make laugh by shoving pencils up your noses can twitter your newest material.