In a somewhat recent development, an Ohio woman was arrested for posing as a 14 year-old boy in order to have a sexual relationship with a girl in her teens. Unfortunately for her, this beautiful relationship had to end, as is not San Francisco so this sort of thing won’t fly. Instead of being celebrated in parades full of essentially naked citizens who are not proud to be a part of the only country where they can have the freedoms they have today, she was charged with unlawful sexual conduct and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Ridiculous? Maybe. It’s time for a look into her “crimes” and what really happened.

It all started in a sleepy little town, Patricia was inside of the local nursery flirting with the various toddlers when something from the window caught her eye. It appeared as something that wiggled its ass like an adult but was much younger; it was beautiful. She knew immediately that this was what she had always dreamed of. See, in Jr. High School, Dye was awkward, weird, and had absolutely no social skills, so she felt like she had missed out on any and all relationships during this time. But now, seeing this attractive teen, she finally had her chance to redeem a lost childhood fantasy. All she had to do was go undercover; she had a mission and was ready to proceed.

Oddly enough, she wouldn’t have to do much preparation work to fit the role she needed to become: a teenage boy. She was already uncomfortably small for a 31 year-old woman, and had the teenage boyish hair cut that many lesbians ask for when going to the barber. Also, her name, Patricia, could easily be shortened to a masculine equivalent, Pat. All she needed to really do was buy a backpack and enroll in the local school where her intended target attended. She easily entered and registered with a fake birth certificate that she purchased from the same person who prints up green cards for illegal immigrants. She, who was now posing as a he, was placed in the same class as her new love, and easily wooed her with beautiful nursery rhymes.

For the next few months they had a beautiful relationship. Pat, her new self, had never been happier, and the teenage girl, who she was sexually molesting with fake genitalia, was just as enthralled with the relationship. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and this event was no different. It was a Friday, and the teenage misfit’s negligent mother was finally home from an all-you-can-sniff coke-buffet, when their forbidden love was finally discovered. They were busted, and it was time for the police to get involved. They arrested her, and ever since, the public has seen her as a disgusting leper to society.

But was this really a crime against humanity, or is this woman simply misunderstood? Sure, she’s 31, and she was strapping-on to get-it-on with a girl who is less than half her age, but does that really make Patricia Dye a bad person? Her intentions were the same as any other person pursuing a relationship, love. And, is simply loving another person worthy of criminal prosecution? Perhaps, but Patricia was simply a woman with a mission: teenage booty.