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Ask The Magic 8 Ball

Dear Magic 8 Ball,

Will this be the year that I’m able to finally quit smoking?   I’m afraid that my boyfriend might leave me otherwise.

-Nancy

 

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Dear Magic 8 Ball,

Okay, um…  about that smoking thing?   And my boyfriend?

-Nancy

 

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Dear Magic 8 Ball,

I recently discovered that my wife has been doing amateur porn behind my back.    Should I confront her about this, or just use it as an excuse to bang this waitress from Applebee’s that’s been giving me strong signals?

-Curtis

 

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Dear Magic 8 Ball,

In your opinion, how should one approach a friend about his body odor?    And this is a grown adult, who should know better!   It’s very frustrating.   But I really like him, and don’t want to hurt his feeling, or mess up the friendship.

-Mack

 

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Dear Magic 8 Ball,

I collect candles, and have recently realized that my roommate has been using some of them for ambiance while taking baths!    These are collectible candles, not meant for use!    I feel awkward confronting her about this, though.   What should I do?

-Helen

 

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Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….

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