While many of us don’t plan shoving off this mortal coil anytime soon, there are many unforeseen circumstances whose mere occurrence might be met with the worst possible result– death. Instead of being woefully unprepared for the inevitable, I’ve taken this occasion to create a public living will/ death to-do list available to my loved ones should the unthinkable (no, not that unthinkable, the other one) happen. This living web document will not only be a legal reference should I fail to come up with an official alternative prior to …

Samuel Wurzelbacher a.k.a “Joe the Plumber”– the symbolic working class hero of the 2008 McCain campaign – has made it through to the final round of the political tournament known as the race for a congressional seat in the state of Ohio (smooth move, Ohio). While he attempts to stretch his 15 minutes of fame into a solid 20, we here at National Lampoon thought we’d do him a kindness and assist him in the way we assist all our favorite candidates– with a few free campaign slogan suggestions.
So, without further …

Every waking moment in one of the hundreds of thousands of diners in this vast land we call The United States of America, a customer is receiving a steaming plate of palatable goodness from the outstretched arms of a Barb, Gina, or Denise. Maybe they’ve ordered a reuben or a turkey on rye with melted swiss (hold the mayo); maybe they’re sinking their teeth into a grilled cheese on wheat with bacon and tomato and a side order of fries. While these meals may not sound exactly alike or even …

The following is a collection of things overheard in movie theaters across the nation, as people filed out following screenings of George Lucas’s epic re-release of the Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace in 3D. We scanned the multiplex’s nationwide, recorded to chatter and present it for you here. It took thousands of man hours and tens of dollars.
 
“I’ve sucked hard things in front of my face before, but I’ve never seen anything suck that hard in my face!”

“Did you know Natalie Portman studied the Japanese art of kabuki …

The adult industry has a habit of churning out porn parodies of the biggest Hollywood hits and some of the more notable favorites of yesteryear. While this year’s Oscar crop offers a healthy mix of the artsy and commercial, they’re all ripe for a XXX-rated transformation. True, the days of masterful titular puns like Pulp Friction and Foreskin Gump have long since been replaced by the likes of “This Ain’t Schindler’s List” and “Not Winter’s Bone: A XXX Parody,”but that doesn’t mean we can’t give it our all to turn …

This Valentine’s Day couples the world over will demonstrate their love for one another with gifts of lavish jewelry of the Kay and Jared varieties, romantic dinners, and bountiful bouquets of sweet-smelling flowers. Meanwhile, the lonely hearts club known as “single-folk” will spend the day pathetically pleading their lovelorn case to would-be beaus, sitting home alone crying a river of tears that flows with their heads buried beneath couch cushions– or otherwise unconvincingly pretending they could care less about a Hallmark Holiday. While most attached persons have their sweeties to …

Many of us have a false perception of what kind of people we are.  Some of us think we’re East coast liberal elites just because we live in New York or New England and have abortions and gay sex while reading the New York Times over breakfast, while a select few of us claim to be rednecks just because we’re drunk all the time an dthere’s a tractor in our front yard painted to look like the General Lee. Even still, I bet you know some people who claim to …

President Barack Obama recently released his campaign playlist on Spotify, complete with songs from  many great artists like U2, Bruce Springsteen, and Wilco. So in an effort to appear more electable (and more “with it”) to the American public, the individual GOP candidates have decided to match the 44th Commander-in-Chief with their own list of tracks he enjoys while on the campaign trail. Take a look:
 

 
MITT ROMNEY
“Sharp Dressed Man”- ZZ Top
“For the Love of Money”- The O’Jays
“Born in the U.S.A” – Bruce Springsteen
“You’re Fired” – Bratmobile
“Battle Hymn of the Republic”- Mormon …

The NFL Season reached it’s official end with Eli Manning and the  New York Giants emerging victorious over the Tom Brady led New England Patriots by a final score of 21-17. And while a few fans at your Super Bowl party probably left feeling jubilant or downright depressed, depending on their team allegiance, it’s a safe bet most of the people who watched the game wherever you were at were just there to watch commercials. Whether you were an overzealous Football fan or an indifferent attendee this Super Bowl Sunday, …

A little over a week ago, in the midst of a brief twitter exchange with @LaurenGberg, I became enamored of the idiotic notion that I could tweet about sweatpants to the point where I might become influential about sweatpants on Klout. After a short string of sweatpants-centric tweets, I did not become influential on said topic, but I did get a free pair of sweatpants from Russell Athletic out of it! Twitter victory! But that wasn’t the end of the love affair between sweatpants and I. I decided that Sweatpants needed their …