LeBron James
Considered by many to be the greatest basketball player on Earth, LeBron James tragically choked during the 2011 NBA finals. Turns out, though, that was just a metaphor.

Lou Reed
Shortly after his death, Metallica collaborated with Lou Reed’s corpse to make “Lulu,” a bizarre work of “anti-rock” that could only have been composed by a dead man. Maybe that’s mean. But Lou Reed literally does not give a shit what anybody says about him. Because he is dead. Ok, turns out not really.

Kanye West
It would be hard to …

In a move dubbed as “risky” by political insiders, Texas Governor Rick Perry has murdered a drifter with his own bare hands in an apparent bid to revitalize his flagging presidential campaign.
According to sources, at a mid-November fund-raising dinner near Nashville Governor Perry suddenly got up and returned to his car. Getting in, he told the driver, “Take me some real dark place. Somewhere you might find a man super down on his luck.” The driver,well knowledgeable of the area, took the oddly animated Governor to anabandoned rail yard, where …