Entries by Kevin Cole


Ringling Bros Presents: Just The Elephants!

Come one! Come all! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest show on earth! For decades you’ve written in to tell us that on no uncertain terms should we be using elephants in our live shows:  “It’s cruel”  “It’s abuse”  “It seems odd that you would still need elephants to entertain us in a time […]


The Hottest Travel Destinations on TRAPPIST-1

In our present day, when it may be best to evacuate Earth, NASA has unveiled a whole new solar system with multiple planets capable of sustaining life. Don’t pick your new home randomly—make that cryogenic freeze and 40 lightyears of travel in deep space worth your while. Use our travel guide to find the destination […]


45 Things More Shameful Than Having Your Identity Stolen at Arby’s

Nope. Sorry, you blew it. You came here expecting a list of things that would redeem you as a victim of the Arby’s hack, but there is literally nothing more embarrassing than this. You could’ve been caught pants-down in the Ashley Madison hack and returned to your family with more dignity. Your secret shame–consuming heaps […]


Bobby Fink: Kid Detective – The Case of Trump’s Missing Terror Attacks

It was the start of February when she walked back into my life. Sitting behind my Fisher-Price Private Dick playset, I was interrupted from my math homework as Mrs. Conway made her way into the office. She used to be my baby sitter but had recently gone pro, babysitting the President of the United States. […]


Donald Trump Reviews Overrated Meryl’s Top Films

Kramer Vs. Kramer Overrated Meryl won an Academy Award for her role in this film, which was the launching point for her ego. She never thanked me for building the city of New York in which the film was shot. I mean, it’s practically a character in the movie, so I think I deserve a […]