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Budget Cut Reading List

Trump’s budget cuts will no doubt have a negative effect on this country’s juvenile detention centers, which means that the quality of the literature donated to these facilities may suffer quite a bit as well.


As proof, here’s this year’s approved list of assigned reading materials from current state-run juvenile detention centers:

Teabagging Gwynn by Judy Blume


Everyone Poops When They’ve Hung Themselves In The Common Room by Taro Gome


I Fed Ned!   A True Life Account By Someone Who Rang Up His Order at Burger King Once by Darlene Toofs


 

Mommy, Why Does That Man Smell Like Tinkle?  A Choose Your Own Adventure Story by Futuristic Cyborg Scott Baio


Was It Something I Said?  Jokes & Limericks That You Shouldn’t Read Backwards by the Devil


Applesauce Enemas!  And Other Fun Post Glue-Sniffing Activities by Orlando Scrotuminski Sr.


The Birds & The Cosby’s:   Including Celebrity Deviants And Predators In That Special Talk by Dr. Phil’s Ice World Dimension Doppelganger


Second Banana To Gilbert Grape:  My Leo Story by the fat lady from Gilbert Grape


Lil’ Red Riding In The Hood, And Other Urban Updates From MotherFuckin’ Goose by Tim Allen’s Dental Hygienist


 

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….

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