Trump’s budget cuts will no doubt have a negative effect on this country’s juvenile detention centers, which means that the quality of the literature donated to these facilities may suffer quite a bit as well.
As proof, here’s this year’s approved list of assigned reading materials from current state-run juvenile detention centers:
Teabagging Gwynn by Judy Blume
Everyone Poops When They’ve Hung Themselves In The Common Room by Taro Gome
I Fed Ned! A True Life Account By Someone Who Rang Up His Order at Burger King Once by Darlene Toofs
Mommy, Why Does That Man Smell Like Tinkle? A Choose Your Own Adventure Story by Futuristic Cyborg Scott Baio
Was It Something I Said? Jokes & Limericks That You Shouldn’t Read Backwards by the Devil
Applesauce Enemas! And Other Fun Post Glue-Sniffing Activities by Orlando Scrotuminski Sr.
The Birds & The Cosby’s: Including Celebrity Deviants And Predators In That Special Talk by Dr. Phil’s Ice World Dimension Doppelganger
Second Banana To Gilbert Grape: My Leo Story by the fat lady from Gilbert Grape
Lil’ Red Riding In The Hood, And Other Urban Updates From MotherFuckin’ Goose by Tim Allen’s Dental Hygienist