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What ABC Isn't Telling You About The Bachelor

More robots per episode than an entire season of Westworld. The…
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FOTO BOMB: Amazon Echo Columbo Edition

After recent news concerning An Amazon Echo may be the key to…
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Trump's Definitions of Common, Everyday Political Terms

President-Elect Trump recently referred to the UN as simply "a…
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Life After Simon & Garfunkel: Exchanging a Christmas Present

Art Garfunkel uses his considerable celebrity to exchange a Christmas…
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Announcing the 2016 Fake News Award Nominees

For over fifty years, the Fake News Awards has been proud to…
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BREAKING NEWS: Cable News See Nativity Coverage As Ratings Savior

Cable networks salivating at their ratings-grabbing replays of…
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PIC QUIP: Trump Bomb Shelters

POSSIBLE CONFLICT OF INTEREST ALERT: Ivanka just announced her…
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Useless Tinder Rip-Offs

Just in time for the horrible, lonely holidays! Here Come The…
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7 Reasons Why You’ll Regret Reading This Click Bait Article

1) You’ve been had! There’s no nudity here, pal. Why don’t…
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It's a Wonderful Presidency

President-elect Trump is pacing inside the penthouse at Trump…
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WORLD WAR C

It’s is difficult to remember the small events that preceded…
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Christmas Gifts The Trump’s Asked From Santa

The Declaration of Independence, for Ivanka to use as coasters…
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Daily Planner Schedule For The Elf On The Shelf

9:30 am Tinkle into the dishwasher's detergent container. 10:15…
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Donald Trump's Pre-Tweet Crib Sheet

Mr. President-Elect Trump, please always refer to the following…
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10 Lesser Known Award Shows Nominees

Tis the season for award show nominees. Here are the few, the…
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An Oral History of Space Jam

Space Jam is the story of sport itself, touching on the universal…
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Least Clicked On Fake News Stories

Creator Of CB Radio Sets Own Buttocks On Fire Nazi Scientists…
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The Spy Who Came in from the Access Hollywood Bus

A dimly lit tavern, somewhere along the Ukrainian border. A waitress…
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Tales of WUT

by Shedd Kenwick      Part 1 At age 104, Shedd Kenwick…
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Hard To Fill Help Wanted Ads

NOW HIRING: Reverse Psychologist  You don’t really want this…
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These Electoral College Members Are Hot, Willing, and Waiting For Your Online Petitions!

Hey there, concerned citizen! Are you itching to have your voice…
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My TripAdvisor

“Had Reservations Before We Made Reservations” ★★☆☆☆ Reviewed…
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Least-Purchased Cyber Monday Deals

Gummers' Eve douche for the elderly, pack of 24 for $8.99 "Extrava-Danza!…
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Black Friday Lives Matter

A Eulogy For a Family Member Trampled and Killed During Black…
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Most Anticipated Moments From The 2016 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

New England Patriots mascot balloon not inflated properly, falls…
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Thanksgiving Family Conversation Starters

"So, let's all take turns saying what we're thankful for, and…
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The Trump Presidency, The First 100 Days

ObamaCare replaced by TrumpCare (first-aid kit, bottle of off-brand…
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You Are Invited to the Democratic Party’s White Working Class Appreciation BBQ

What: The Democratic Party’s First Annual White Working Class…
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Rosy-Cheeked Residents of the Bizarro Earth Are Thankful For...

President-Elect Michelle Obama not only soundly defeating Donald…
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How to Be a White Ally Without All the Hassle

Are you distressed about the results of the recent presidential…
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President Trump's Cabinet Member Selections

Citizens of these great United States, you can now rest easy.   …
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Steve Bannon, Really? He Doesn’t Even Make My List of Top 5 Favorite Nazis

  I gotta tell you: I’m real disappointed with the…
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Victory speech transcript from the 2116 Elections

Back to the future: so much can change in so little time Thank…
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WikiLeaks Bombshell: Militia Group Issues ‘Stand Down’ Order, Four Erections Die

KALAMAZOO, Mich. – As Republican presidential candidate Donald…
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So You're Moving To Another Country...

What Now? Things To Consider:   1) Don't Go From…
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Election Night Comforting Thoughts

Regardless of who ultimately wins, the night of the Presidential…
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Very Last Minute Election Surprises

Adak, Alaska has the pleasant distinction of being home to the…
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Election Day Voting Checklist

Are you ready to make the arduous journey to your local voting…
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Notes From Hillary's Diary

For the next week leading up to the election, Hillary Clinton…
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Mike Pence's Thoughts As The Plane Skidded Around

Republican Vice Presidential candidate Mike Pence was in a plane…
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Civil War Soldier Writes Home to Mother About Losing his Virginity

“Dear Mother, I shall hope you receive this letter in good…
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PIC QUIP: It Was Trump!

After being sealed in a vault and lost for years, the full…
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Melania's Whistle-Stop Tour

The odd, little out of the way places that Trump's campaign advisors…
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TrumpTV: 15 Shows He Will Remake For His New Network

We got ahold of the transcripts from his meetings with network…
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Alliterative Day-of-the-Week Themes to Boost Morale at Your Startup

  Mole Mondays Nope, not the cute little furry critter!…
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Can We Guess Your Age As Part Of A Deeply Sinister Population Control Program?

It's time for us to come clean, readers. Now that the cat…
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Surprise Guests of the 3rd 2016 Presidential Debate!

Today's CNN report cited the guests invited to tonight debate…
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Melania Trump Body Language Decoded

Anderson Cooper's CNN interview with Melania Trump held very…
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Internal Trump Campaign Emails From Last Weekend

+++++++++++++ Friday, Oct. 7, 2016 3:35 pm From: Donald To:…
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Kellyanne Conway Word Association

Who is this mysterious woman, Kellyanne Conway? The woman behind…
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The Upcoming Calendar Of Mr. Kenneth Bone

Ken Bone cares about America. If you think he's just at the Town…
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Trump's Other Favorite Sputnik News Stories

Donald Trump recently began citing a Kremlin funded news website…
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Other Times That Billy Bush's Shenanigans Have Landed Him in Hot Water

Forget about Trump! What about that little scoundrel, Billy Bush? His…
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Foto Bomb: Trumpenstein!

Paul Ryan said he'll no longer defend Trump. Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty tired of defending his monster too .
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Town-Hall Debate Drinking Game

Do a shot every time that:   Donald Trump attempts…
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Fallout Events From the Trump Video

  In a surprise move the Tic-Tac organization chooses…
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Donald Trump's Excuses For Not Paying His Taxes

It's Hillary's fault. He's done plenty of other illegal…
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Hustler Magazine's Reasons Why Donald Trump Should Be Our Next President

USA Today has come out against Trump. As is of course their right. To…
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What Trump Did Right During the Debate

Didn't bite anyone. (on-stage at least; and even Reagan took…
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Questions Rejected From Being Used During The Clinton / Trump Debate

  "Senator Clinton, is it true that ISIS unfriended you…
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5 Valuable Life Lessons I Learned Managing the 837 Checking Accounts Wells Fargo Opened for Me

If there’s one thing I learned from watching movies about other…
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Items Purchased With Misappropriated Trump Foundation Funds

Human centipede made up of losers from past seasons of The Apprentice. [$20K…
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The Politically Incorrect Traveler's Exam

Travel magazines, basic cable channels, and websites inevitably…
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Top FAQs On The Ashley Madison Site

If I catch an STD from one of the dates provided by your site,…
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Fall TV Preview

Chillax, Inc. Thanks to an accounting…
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Highlighted Excerpts of Interest From the FBI's Investigation of Hillary's Emails

"... just saying, if someone is being paid to give me a proper…
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Top Five Tips for Selecting Babies from the Hospital Nursery

Who isn’t an animal lover? Our pets are our best friends, our…
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Fall Movie Preview

It's fall, time to wave goodbye to the people shooting at you…
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What Will it Take to Get Anthony Weiner to Stop Sexting?

There are only a few viable scenarios that appear likely:   His…
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The University of Chicago's Letter to Incoming Students

The University of Chicago recently garnered a great deal of media…
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'Stranger Things' Demogorgon Exclusive Interview

In the wake of Netflix's smash hit Stranger Things, fans are…
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10 Other Things Ryan Lochte Also "Over Exaggerated"

After the Olympic games closed, Ryan Lochte's mom discovered…
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In Defense of Heather Bresch and EpiPen Price Hike

People are chomping at the bit, demanding blood and worse from…
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Real, Genuine Reasons Donald J. Trump Is Refusing To Release His Tax Returns

Accidentally spilled a two liter of Big Red soda onto the form,…
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Non-Televised Rio Olympics Events

/
100m Police Chase Rusty Wire Fence Hurdles Smoke-Grenade…
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Subject: Fear Not, Gun Lovers!

********* (The highest ranking members of the GLC [Gun Lovers…
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Answer Sheet For The Exam Of Kanye’s God-Level Sommelier

Any deviation from these exact answers during the blind tasting…
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Trump’s Olympic Demonstration Sports

Ratings for the 2016 Olympics were way down from the London 2012…
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The Endings Of Those Novels You Were Supposed To Read Over The Summer

A new school year is fast approaching, and I'm willing to bet…
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Signs Trump Is Actually Losing It

Recently paid workers for a job he hired them to perform. Gave…
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Six Republican Men You’d Totally Invite into the Bathroom with Your Daughter

We’ve all been there: watching your young daughter walk into…
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Potentially Delicious Items from the 2016 DNC Concession Menu

Hill-a-refried Beans $25.00 We in the food service industry…
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DNC Drinking Game!

Drink every time someone says that they are NOT Donald Trump Drink…
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Duties of Those Cleaning the Convention Center Following the RNC

Repair porta potty glory holes Contact landfill re: thousands…
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Tasty Items For Sale At The RNC Concession Stands

Trump Roast $74.50 Baloney. Lots and lots of roasted baloney.…
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GOP Convention Drinking Game!

Drink every time the camera pans to an overweight woman in a…
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Four Strange Things Found in Michelle Obama's 2008 DNC Speech

With all this fuss about plagiarism from Melania Trump's RNC…
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President Trump White House Tour

A first-person account by one lucky reporter It is a pretty…
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The Real Reasons Behind The Female Ghostbusters Backlash

1) Most Ghostbusters fan-boys are more scared of women than they…
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Least Coveted Raffle Prizes

Cursed monkey hand Do-It-Yourself Human Centipede Kit $25 gift…
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Failed Made-Up Names Before They Settled on Brexit

 Great Escapain' Eng-leave Great Bail-in' Boris, Farage,…
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Whore-O-Scope

[Prostitutional Premonitions] Aries (March 21- April 19) You…
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Handy-Dandy Tips On Staying Safe From Shark Attacks

While swimming, find a shark and wrestle it to submission.  …
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Tips For A Fun, Massacre-Free Backyard Barbecue

No need to be as lax as the US Govt's gun-purchasing policies.;…
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Classic Romantic Comedies If They Were Set In 2016

1. When Harry Met Sally   Instead of it taking Harry…
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What's On The DVR?

Pixar Presents Keeping Up With The CARdashians Disney's…
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The Crossword Couple!

NOTE TO READERS: "The Crossword Couple," Eric and Colleen Belknap,…
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So You’re Thinking of Symbolically Adopting an Elephant

It may be the biggest decision in your life. If it is, consider…
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Letters That Dear Abby Stopped Reading After One Sentence

Dear Abby, As a longtime fan of your column, as well as someone…
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A Few Examples of When It’s Okay, Even Advisable, To Report Your Neighbor To The Police

His only contributions to the block garage sale are always…
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Things Paul Ryan Would Endorse For President Before Donald Trump

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan announced this week that he would…
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