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Eulogy for a Cobra Command Henchmen

Hello, thank you all for coming today. We are here not to mourn,…
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New Career Plans For Ted Cruz

It looks like it's getting to be about that time. The time for…
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Popular Prom Themes For 2016

1) Oxy Pads & Oxycontin 2) The Waltzing Dead 3) MTV's Teen…
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For All The Nevers In Life: If The State Farm Ad was Self-Aware

[We open on a wild, alcohol-fueled pool party with…
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Bernie Sanders Campaign Groupie Sex Diary

It's proven to be a passionate electoral season, and voters have…
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Most Referenced FAQs on the Cialis Website

1) Will Cialis work even if my partner and I have grown to despise…
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Expert Tequila Taste Test

Tequila is the name of a distilled beverage from Mexico, made…
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Trump Snarls

Two hours after his latest victory sort-of-speech following a…
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Batman and Superman: AN ORAL HISTORY

Superman: Oh, yeah, we were tight. Me and Bats? Are you kidding?…
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Overly Specific Rejected Facebook Emojis

Coked Up   "Check out my new dental work"   Super…
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TRUMP SAYS HE WOULD SELECT SUPREME COURT JUSTICE VIA REALITY SHOW

GOP frontrunner Donald Trump took time to discuss how he'd…
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GOP Primary Forecast

UPDATED FEBRUARY 23 As we head into the final stretch of the…
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Domestic Terrorism Pinterest Projects

The Ku Klux Klan’s Whites Only Dorito Corn Dogs   Perfect…
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Newly Leaked Hillary Emails Suggest She May Have Seen 'Hamilton,' Or Is Just Crazy

Original Message From:Huma Abedin <Huma@clintonemail.com> To:…
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MAN KICKED OUT OF ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET AFTER EATING MORE THAN 50 LBS OF FOOD, SUES FOR $2-MILLION

from WORLD NEWS DAILY REPORT Springfield| A man from Massachusetts…
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NPR FAN FICTION

 “Escape from the Zombies in the Village by the Potomac”   Terry…
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New Art Gallery Openings

Winter has arrived, why not go out and see an art exhibit or…
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Minorities To Boycott Razzies Due To Underrepresentation

It's not just the Academy Awards that are under fire from African-American…
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Tip-Top Tips to Terminate a Trumper Tantrum

The world can be a scary place even without Donald Trump around.…
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Hillary's Top Secret E-Mails

After several months of furious work, hackers have managed to…
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New On Broadway!

My Dinner with Andre II: Just Desserts Andre Gregory and Wallace…
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Presidential Candidates Footwear

After the Ted Cruz campaign drew attention to Marco Rubio’s…
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How To: World Domination for Bears

Are you a bear and can read? Do you lust for more than just salmon?…
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The Summer of My Erotic Marxist Awakening

I suppose we were what you'd call an odd couple, Karl Heinrich Marx and me. After all, I was just a pimple-faced 14-year-old from Kenosha, WI, and he was the German revolutionary and theorist whose Communist Manifesto had forever altered the course of Western Civilization.
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Dear Donald

Donald Trump receives thousands of letters every week asking…
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Santa Claus Arrested on 132 Million Counts of Breaking and Entering

Following a sting operation at a Los Angeles-area apartment complex,…
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IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE - THE DISCARDED "POTTERSVILLE" ENDING

The screenplay for the 1946 holiday classic It's a Wonderful…
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Things to Bet On In NY Now that FanDuel and DraftKings Are Shut Down

-300 Express subway train pulls away right as you get to the…
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Competitive Duck Mimicry to Debut at 2016 Summer Olympics

The International Duck Mimicry Federation has announced Duck…
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Most Likely Places to Find Pipes Mistakenly Left Behind by Bertrand Russell

Most Likely Places to Find Pipes Mistakenly Left Behind by Bertrand…
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Rent-A-Baby

Hello ladies.  Are you 40?   Single? Married? Divorced? Overworked?…
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Pumpkin Spice Latte; A DEA Drug Fact Sheet

Autumn comes with shortening days, and associations with stressful…
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Chinese Vacation: Beijing pt 1

My dad is persona non grata in the People’s Republic of China.…
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How Did I Get Here?

We wrote this book because you've probably been hearing all…
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Justin's Junk NSFW

It's been ALL OVER THE WEB! And yes, it's impressive. Wow. I…
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Indiego-gone

Hey Man, Dude, first, thanks so much for donating to my Kickstarter…
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Pope’s Dope Robe Probed

Hey The Pope - just because you're The Pope doesn't mean you…
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How To: World Domination for Pirates

Congratulations on your interest in world domination! You are…
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How to Dominate Friends and Repel Losers

Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence…
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Who Said It: Donald Trump or Bill the Butcher from "Gangs of New York"?

1. “You see this knife? I'm gonna teach you to speak English…
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Geppeto: Helicopter Parent

FROM: Geppetto@earthlink.com TO: Sunnydale Elementary Listserv RE:…
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The Olive Garden Specials Menu written by a Former Political Operative

The Gamechanger This artichoke and basil pesto panini is, simply…
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50 Least Infectious Diseases

1. Subhuman papillomavirus 2. Weeping cough 3. Mackerel degeneration 4.…
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My Sincerest Apologies: Barnes & Noble

Dear Barnes and Noble, I am so sorry. I know nothing I can…
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The 50 Least Successful Minor League Franchises

1. San Fernando Valley Fluffers 2. Briscoe County Juniors 3.…