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Quiz: National Spelling Bee Winner or National Spelling Bee Winning Word

Nanatuk Venkatachalam Nandipati Appoggiatura Feldenkrai Buddiga Tidmarsh Succedaneum Demarche Sujoe National…
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Are You Sure You Want To Log Out?

        &nbs…
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14 Product Placements for Pop Songs # 9 Will Make You Literally Want To Eat Their Words

Put a BK Onion Ring On it Beyoncé The Real Slim Jim…
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I am 100% Committed to Being a Dad 24 Minutes a Day

Before our son was born, I couldn’t quite comprehend how my…
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8 Acts Weirder Than Hans Zimmer Playing Coachella

Think Hans Zimmer playing Lion King at Coachella this weekend…
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The War on Penis Terror: Angry Vagina and Her Dating App (Part 5)

~ DEAR VAGINA SOLDIER ~ Eager to earn your dignity as an honored…
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Press Conference From The Discarded Crayola Crayon, Dandelion

"Okay, first off, yes, I am drunk. Very drunk. Drunk to the point…
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Ringling Bros Presents: Just The Elephants!

Come one! Come all! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest…
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Top Five Signs That Your Pet Goldfish Is a Stockbroker from the 80's

It’s your worst nightmare, you come home late one night to…
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Things We Learned From The New Spider-Man Trailer

Robert Downey Jr. may very well be able to act his way out of…
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Kid-Lit of the Revolution

"...it turns out, Kim Jong Il —along with dad Kim Il Sung —…
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Spring Broke: Your Cheap Destination Guide

(Your Guide To Fun, Inexpensive Places To Visit For Spring Breakers…
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Animated Movies To Properly Prepare Kids For the Real World

Finding Chemo The Little Barmaid Stuck In A Dead End Job The…
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Most Anticipated New Reality Shows

Extreme Vetting  Join America’s most extreme veterinarian,…
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Unwanted Virtual Reality "Brand Experiences"

 The FedEx Immersive Apartment Feel like you’re actually…
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Hip and Edgy Comic Strip Reboots

Riverdale, the hip, edgy, sexually ambiguous retooling of the…
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I Swear to God, If I Hear “Be Our Guest” In This Castle One More Time I’m Going To Kill Something

Damn it, Lumière. Every single time we have guests over you…
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Other Big Goofs From Last Night's Oscars

Arms on Oscar statues held on with Scotch tape. Jimmy…
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Trumped Oscar Films

The American Academy of Arts & Sciences announced during…
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The Aliens from Arrival Review the Oscar Nominees for Visual Effects

We learned many new words when we arrived on your Earth. Cars.…
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Reasons Why I Imagine You Didn’t “Like” My Post

You didn’t see it. You like to space out your “likes,”…
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Sports Illustrated: The Lesser Known Specialty Issues

Sure, you know the "Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition".…
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An Open Letter To Cilantro

Dear Cilantro,    Touché. You’ve done it again.…
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Ernest Hemingway's Fifty Ways To Drive Your Man Wild In Bed

Editor's note: Quite a few of Ernest Hemingway’s early short…
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The Grammys Drinking Game

To play, tune in to The Grammys on CBS at 8pm and simply take…
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Bobby Fink: Kid Detective - The Case of Trump's Missing Terror Attacks

It was the start of February when she walked back into my life.…
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Does The Mile High Club Still Count if My Plane Has Been Missing Since 2014?

Guess what, man? I totally did it! Mile high club, baby! Yes!…
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Oprah Winfrey is joining 60 Minutes

Oprah Winfrey is joining 60 Minutes as a Special Correspondent.…
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Building Your Deck with Elon Musk

Step 1 - Commit to Your Deck Hi, my name is Elon Musk and welcome…
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Upcoming Movie Crossovers

Let's face facts, Hollywood is running out of ideas. Well, not…
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Incredible Football Facts!

The first football was built as part of a New Deal–era jobs…
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2017 Ethics: Punching a Nazi and Other Acceptable Acts

Punching a Nazi Putting an empty milk carton back into…
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Wine Pairings With Household Chores

According to people who make science, housecleaning affords the…
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BuzzFeed for Dads

19 Nose Hair Trimmers Guaranteed To Spice Up Your Love Life. 27…
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The Real Reasons That Ringling Bros Are Shutting Down

Bankrupt after having to bail out so many clowns who had been…
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Jason Vorhees' Camp Crystal Lake Etiquette

1. Look, we know why you're here. You're going to have sex. And…
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Golden Globe Categories That Don't Make it to Air

Best Performance By An Actor/Actress Trying To Bounce Back From…
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Ask The Magic 8 Ball

Dear Magic 8 Ball, Will this be the year that…
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Jack Sprat Could Eat No Fat

Jack Sprat could eat no fat. He had high cholesterol, and his…
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Reality Shows of the Dictators

PUTIN YOU ON "Smile!  You're on Candid Comrade!"  The playful…
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Mariah Carey's Excuses For Her Horrible NYE Performance

Distracted by the horribly intense yeast infection brought on…
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Grim Reaper’s 2016 Party Gets Outta Control

Looks like someone can’t get enough celebrating this year,…
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What ABC Isn't Telling You About The Bachelor

More robots per episode than an entire season of Westworld. The…
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FOTO BOMB: Amazon Echo Columbo Edition

After recent news concerning An Amazon Echo may be the key to…
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Life After Simon & Garfunkel: Exchanging a Christmas Present

Art Garfunkel uses his considerable celebrity to exchange a Christmas…
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Announcing the 2016 Fake News Award Nominees

For over fifty years, the Fake News Awards has been proud to…
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7 Reasons Why You’ll Regret Reading This Click Bait Article

1) You’ve been had! There’s no nudity here, pal. Why don’t…
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WORLD WAR C

It’s is difficult to remember the small events that preceded…
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Hard To Fill Help Wanted Ads

NOW HIRING: Reverse Psychologist  You don’t really want this…
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These Electoral College Members Are Hot, Willing, and Waiting For Your Online Petitions!

Hey there, concerned citizen! Are you itching to have your voice…
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The Upcoming Calendar Of Mr. Kenneth Bone

Ken Bone cares about America. If you think he's just at the Town…
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Other Times That Billy Bush's Shenanigans Have Landed Him in Hot Water

Forget about Trump! What about that little scoundrel, Billy Bush? His…
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5 Valuable Life Lessons I Learned Managing the 837 Checking Accounts Wells Fargo Opened for Me

If there’s one thing I learned from watching movies about other…
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The Politically Incorrect Traveler's Exam

Travel magazines, basic cable channels, and websites inevitably…
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TV Preview

Chillax, Inc. Thanks to an accounting…
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Top Five Tips for Selecting Babies from the Hospital Nursery

Who isn’t an animal lover? Our pets are our best friends, our…
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Fall Movie Preview

It's fall, time to wave goodbye to the people shooting at you…
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'Stranger Things' Demogorgon Exclusive Interview

In the wake of Netflix's smash hit Stranger Things, fans are…
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Subject: Fear Not, Gun Lovers!

********* (The highest ranking members of the GLC [Gun Lovers…
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Answer Sheet For The Exam Of Kanye’s God-Level Sommelier

Any deviation from these exact answers during the blind tasting…
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The Endings Of Those Novels You Were Supposed To Read Over The Summer

A new school year is fast approaching, and I'm willing to bet…
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Classic Romantic Comedies If They Were Set In 2016

1. When Harry Met Sally   Instead of it taking Harry…
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What's On The DVR?

Pixar Presents Keeping Up With The CARdashians Disney's…
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Eulogy for a Cobra Command Henchmen

Hello, thank you all for coming today. We are here not to mourn,…
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Expert Tequila Taste Test

Tequila is the name of a distilled beverage from Mexico, made…
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Batman and Superman: AN ORAL HISTORY

Superman: Oh, yeah, we were tight. Me and Bats? Are you kidding?…
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NPR FAN FICTION

 “Escape from the Zombies in the Village by the Potomac”   Terry…
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New Art Gallery Openings

Winter has arrived, why not go out and see an art exhibit or…
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New On Broadway!

My Dinner with Andre II: Just Desserts Andre Gregory and Wallace…
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Presidential Candidates Footwear

After the Ted Cruz campaign drew attention to Marco Rubio’s…
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How To: World Domination for Bears

Are you a bear and can read? Do you lust for more than just salmon?…
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Things to Bet On In NY Now that FanDuel and DraftKings Are Shut Down

-300 Express subway train pulls away right as you get to the…
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Pumpkin Spice Latte; A DEA Drug Fact Sheet

Autumn comes with shortening days, and associations with stressful…
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Justin's Junk NSFW

It's been ALL OVER THE WEB! And yes, it's impressive. Wow. I…
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How To: World Domination for Pirates

Congratulations on your interest in world domination! You are…
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How to Dominate Friends and Repel Losers

Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence…
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Who Said It: Donald Trump or Bill the Butcher from "Gangs of New York"?

1. “You see this knife? I'm gonna teach you to speak English…
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Geppeto: Helicopter Parent

FROM: Geppetto@earthlink.com TO: Sunnydale Elementary Listserv RE:…
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My Sincerest Apologies: Barnes & Noble

Dear Barnes and Noble, I am so sorry. I know nothing I can…
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The 50 Least Successful Minor League Franchises

1. San Fernando Valley Fluffers 2. Briscoe County Juniors 3.…