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Donald Trump Reviews Overrated Meryl’s Top Films

Kramer Vs. Kramer

Overrated Meryl won an Academy Award for her role in this film, which was the launching point for her ego. She never thanked me for building the city of New York in which the film was shot. I mean, it’s practically a character in the movie, so I think I deserve a little credit. Don’t think that means I’m going to thank her for inspiring me to get a divorce. Kramer Vs. Kramer has helped countless men realize that they should leave their harpy wives. Believe me, when Meryl takes the cake as a nasty woman in this film, she’s really just playing herself.


The Devil Wears Prada

Once again, another nasty woman portrayed by Overrated Meryl. I can’t imagine treating my own employees so poorly. Everyone who works for me, loves me. They respect me, but Meryl runs her fashion empire on fear. That’s ineffective management. Ivanka took me to see this and I was so appalled by Meryl’s atrocious acting, once again, as herself, that it ruined the entire date.


Julie & Julia

This is another film that I WOULD NOT have seen if Ivanka didn’t force me to go with her. I don’t need a movie, especially one with Overrated Meryl, to waste two hours of my life telling me that women know how to cook. Newsflash! It’s wired into their brains, every woman, from a four to a ten knows how to cook.


Mama Mia!

Tremendous fun, mostly thanks to Amanda Seyfried, whose beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes remind me of Ivanka!


Sophie’s Choice

Sophie’s Choice, very unfair. This movie doesn’t even use the phrase “Sophie’s Choice” correctly. My advisor Steve Bannon makes a Sophie’s Choice everyday, it’s when you throw your hands in the air and say “you’re on your own! Auf Wiedersehen.” That’s what Overrated Meryl should’ve said when she was offered this poorly written role about a woman who would rather play favorites with her own children than let them learn the ways of the world. Only a member of the Hollywood elite could get away with that kind of behavior.


 

Written by Kevin Cole

Kevin Cole

Kevin Cole is a comedy writer and satirist working out of Frederick, MD. He is the founder of The Annual, a different comedy website and most recently wrote the play Great Again which was performed at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre before it was plagiarized by reality. You can find his tweets @KevinDotCole.

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