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Every Emoji Is a Dick Emoji

You’ve probably heard the old adage “the eggplant emoji is actually a black dick emoji,” but did you know that every single emoji on the keyboard is actually a dick? Here are some you should know.

🍆 black dick


🌽

white dick


🌶

Latino dick


🍡

Asian dick


🍷

French and/or Italian dick


🍌

slippery dick


🔦

dick too into fleshlights


🌭

average dick


🌯

thick average dick


🔎

tiny dick


🍠

huge dick


✏

long skinny dick


🍗

uncircumcised dick


📞

curved dick


🐜

hairy dick


🕸

veiny dick


🗿

ashy dick


 🎤

giant-headed dick


📉

dick that’s been continually decreasing in performance quality


🍼

young dick


🎣

old dick


🖊

executive dick


🖋

art department dick


🖍

intern dick


lawyer dick


😍

ACLU lawyer dick


🔨

construction worker dick


🗼

tourist dick


🚽

dick you saw peeing and wish you hadn’t because now you don’t really want to blow it


😛

dick you want in your mouth


😝

dick you don’t want in your mouth


😮

dick currently in your mouth


😜

dick that would be kinda funny to have in your mouth so why not, if it’s there and you’re drunk or whatever


😵

dick you can’t believe was in your mouth


🤑

dick you’re putting in your mouth for money


🤐

dick you swear you’re totally not gonna put in your mouth anymore


🔝

missionary dick


🐎

quickie dick


🔚

dick you’re done with


🦄

dick you dream of but will never get


🔙

dick that’s always trying to go up your butt


🍑

dick that IS always going up your butt


🔜

dick you’re totally gonna hit up as soon as you stop being on your period


🎷

musician dick


🚀

fucking awesome dick


🗝

Beauty and the Beast dick


🐸

alt-right dick


🚯

Charlie Sheen’s dick


🍾

prematurely ejaculating dick


🌵

dick you should stay away from


💐

dick that will cuddle you after


🌱

dick you can grow into something worthwhile


Written by Jennifer Boudinot

Jennifer Boudinot

Jennifer Boudinot is a freelance writer and editor who lives in Brooklyn, New York. Her work has appeared on Huffington Post Comedy and Paste, and in dozens of non-fiction books under various pen names. Her latest, Toilet Trivia: Double Duty by Fanny McFartle, is upcoming from Sterling Publishing. She loves burritos (ahem). You can find her on Twitter at @jenboudinot.

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