http://i0.wp.com/nationallampoon.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/featured-image-template-NL-neighbor.png?fit=432%2C330 330 432 Kit Lively http://natlamp.mdudemo.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/tn_newszeplin_header_logo.png Kit Lively2016-05-20 15:22:162016-05-20 15:22:16A Few Examples of When It’s Okay, Even Advisable, To Report Your Neighbor To The Police
- His only contributions to the block garage sale are always bloodied girl scout uniforms.
- Immediately following Halloween, he rents out his porch jack o’ lantern as a toilet for homeless people.
- He constantly steals your newspaper, and also your television.
- Always brings roofies to the neighborhood lemonade stands.
- You live in George Zimmerman’s neighborhood.
- He intimidates your children into shaving his back on a monthly basis.
- At least twice a week, he gets really drunk and teabags your birdhouse.
- You ask him to water your plants while you’re out of town, and when you return he’s turned your house into a hydroponic marijuana greenhouse.
- You find him using your commode at least once a week, his excuse always being that he has a dead cat clogging up the one in his bathroom.
- Had to go from house to house informing neighbors that he’s a registered sex offender, and did so with a visible erection.
- He mows his lawn wearing only the skin and fur of dead family pets that he’s dug out of your backyard.