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We Got You This Beautiful Charm Bracelet For Mother’s Day

Mom, we love you so deeply that this Mother’s Day we got you this beautiful charm bracelet. Each charm represents something very special.

 

The blue gem charm represents Jackson.

 

The pink gem charm represents Ellie.

 

The silver ring charm represents Dad.

 

The orange cat charm represents Max.

 

The grey cat charm represents Penelope, the cat that you forced us to leave behind at the shelter, mewing in a tiny cage, because we are not getting two cats.

 

The #1 MOM charm represents how you are the best mom we have personally experienced, so far.

 

The pearl seahorse charm represents the quiet day alone at the beach that you keep requesting for your Mother’s Day gift instead of a charm bracelet. You’re so hilarious and we love you so much.

 

The tiny door charm represents privacy, the word you’re always shouting when we are spending time with you in the bathroom.

 

The red heart charm represents the charm the jewelry store guy kept implying we should really include on your bracelet, as a simple enduring symbol of our love for you. He was very persistent and probably just trying to make an extra buck.

 

The golden spoon charm should remind you that, wherever we may be, no matter whether it is day or night, we are all wondering what you plan on fixing us for dinner.

 

The golden fork charm represents the food we will request once you have already fixed us dinner.

 

The festive pina colada charm represents the cold, refreshing pina colada you would have had during your quiet day alone at the beach, if we had gotten that for Mother’s Day. Actually, we got you two of these charms, because we know how much you like pina coladas.

 

The bell charm makes your charm bracelet even louder than it was already. Everyone will hear it and say, “Here comes someone who received a charm bracelet for Mother’s Day.”

 

The small, simple golden locket charm represents a piece of jewelry you would have liked better.

 

The dragon charm, we all agreed, was just totally awesome.

 

The charm bracelet charm represents the charm bracelet we got you for your birthday two years ago but all forgot about.

 

The second red heart charm represents filler. Boy, you have big wrists, mom!

 

The peanut charm represents your peanut allergy. We assume that if you accidentally ingest peanuts and experience a medical emergency, this charm would alert strangers to your condition. Now you can take off your ugly medical alert bracelet and wear this bracelet instead.

 

The silver clock charm represents that you’re probably running late for something right now, and that it’s probably because of one of us.

 

The question mark charm represents how every time you take off your Mother’s Day charm bracelet from here on out, we will ask you why, and if you love us anymore.

 

The third red heart charm represents a buy two heart charms, get one heart charm free Mother’s Day promotion that they had at the charm store. And also just maybe something about how much we love you.


 

Written by Sarah Aswell

Sarah Aswell

Sarah Aswell is a humor writer who lives in Montana. Her writing has appeared in places like The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, The Hairpin, and The Advocate among lots of other great sites. She’s a contributing humor writer at SheKnows.com and Reductress.

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