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Guided Meditations For The Trump Era

In light of recent political events, we’ve updated our app to include all the meditations you’ll need for 2017.

Namaste!


RESTFUL SLEEP
Calm Your Dystopian Night Terrors


LOVING KINDNESS
For Your Now Openly Racist Friends


ACCEPTING AND LETTING GO
A Bathrobed Old Man Wandering in The Dark Has Access to the Nuclear Codes


RELAXING WITHIN
For High Blood Pressure Because You No Longer Have Health Insurance


FINDING INNER PEACE
Numb a Nervous Breakdown as the GOP Tells You To “STFU WOMAN”


MINDFUL LEARNING

Communicating With Grizzlies, Who Now Run The Public Schools


OVERCOMING NEGATIVITY
When The NSA is Listening

REDUCING STRESS
While Running for Your Life


CONSCIOUS BREATHING
For Hiding in the Forest


STAYING POSITIVE
While Sewing Giant Ties in the Gulag


MASTERING JOY
Hypnotherapy For Learning Russian In Your Sleep


HAPPY CITIZEN DAY CHANT
In Praise of Sexy Savior With Huge Hands and Huger Penis


INNER HEALING
Accepting You Probably Shouldn’t Have Voted for Jill Stein

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Written by Yelena Shuster

Yelena Shuster

Yelena Shuster has written for the New York Times, Cosmopolitan, InStyle, Mashable & more fake news. The Columbia grad also helps students perfect admissions essays. Let’s schmooze: @YelenaShuster.

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