A young woman in the maternity ward just prior to labor is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. “I’m afraid I don’t have a husband,” she replies.
“Okay. Do you have a boyfriend?” asks the midwife.
“No, no boyfriend either.”
“Do you have a partner then?”
“No, I’m not attached; I’ll be having my baby on my own.” After the birth, the midwife again speaks to the young woman,
“You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her …

A total babe goes to the gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at the woman and all of his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately asks her to undress. After she has disrobed, the doctor begins stroking her thigh. “Do you know what I’m doing?” he asks.
“Yes,” she replies. “You’re checking for any abrasions or abnormalities.”
“That’s right,” says the doctor. Emboldened, he then begins to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?”
“You’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer,” she replies.
“Correct,” says the doctor.
Deciding to go …

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “Your husband is suffering from severe, long-term stress and it’s affecting his cardiovascular system. He’s a good candidate for either a heart attack or a stroke. If you don’t do the following four things, your husband will surely die. First, each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. Second, at lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him …

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse,” he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?” Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, …

When my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. One item on her list was “comfortable underwear.”
Not sure what she considered comfortable, I asked, “How will I know which ones to pick?”
“Hold them up and imagine them on me, “ she answered. “If you smile, put them back.”

Once there was a midget who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached all the time. As he was always talking about his aching testicles, his friend suggested that he go to the doctor and see what he could do to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice, went to the doctor and told him what the problem was. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The midget dropped his pants. The doctor put him up onto the examining table and proceeded …

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform for his wife. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few medications, but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him, “This is all in your mind,” and refers him to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits with the psychiatrist, the psychiatrist confesses he can not figure out what is wrong. The psychiatrist decides to refer him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor says, “I can cure this!” He throws some powder …

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
“Breast-fed,” she replied.
“Well, strip to your waist,” the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, “No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have …

The doctor took Dan into the room and said, “Dan, I have some good news and some bad news.”
“Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess,” Dan replied.
“They’re going to name a disease after you.”

A woman is in the delivery room in labor. One final push and the baby comes out. Above the baby’s pitiful first cries, she hears the horrified gasps of the doctor and shrieks of the nurses. The baby is rushed away before she can see it.
Later, a doctor comes in and says, “I’m afraid there’s a . . . problem with your new son. It seems he was born without a body.”
She stammers, “You mean . . .”
“Yes,” the doctor says, “he has no body. He’s just a head. But, …