Least Coveted Raffle Prizes

Cursed monkey hand

Do-It-Yourself Human Centipede Kit

$25 gift card to vegan café “You’ve Got Kale”

Incontinence-Friendly Square-Dance Lessons

Backstage passes to Bill Cosby show

Dollar Store Ouija board that only contacts people in comas

Written transcript of Kanye’s 2015 MTV VMA speech

Free paternity test results read by Maury Povich

Bird-house filled with piping hot coleslaw (feeds 3 people or 47 birds)

Back-hair extensions

$100 contribution in your name to the Westboro Baptist Church

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….