The New School Threat: Grizzly Bears

Sure guns in schools can do SOME bad things, but what’s the REAL threat to our nations youth? Grizzly Bears. We need to do more to prevent these Active Bear Situations (ABS) and thank goodness Trump Secretary of Education pick Betsy DeVos has brought this epidemic to light. But why stop at allowing guns to fight off these widespread bear attacks? We need…

Even More Ways To Protect Our Kids From Grizzly Bears In School

Hire grizzly bear hunters to teach all classes.

No more “Picnic Thursdays”.

Set bear traps underneath every child’s desk.

Cancel unimportant classes, like art, English and history, and replace with classes on killing grizzly bears.

Cardboard standees of our leader, President Donald Trump, on the perimeter of all schools, in order to intimidate and terrify the bears.

Teens no longer able to wear deodorants, perfumes, acne medications, and other items that could possibly attract bears.

Cancellation of all Future Beekeepers of America meetings.

Perimeter surrounding schools set ablaze each day; fires to be monitored by former border patrol guards.

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….