Sasha
Hi! I’m Sasha and I’m a two-year-old Golden Lab mix with lots of love to give! I love children and other dogs, and I’m looking for a home with a big yard to play fetch in!

I also eat birds of all sizes! Got a bird problem? I can eat up to a 30-pound pile of birds like they were cake!

Patches
Patches is five-year-old terrier and aspiring novelist looking for her "forever home"! Pensive families that enjoy deconstructing classic plays and quiet time spent in reflection will love Patches, who is currently taking night classes to earn her teaching degree!

Mr. Doodles
A 10-year-old schnauzer-terrier mix, Doodles spent most of his life with an elderly woman. A quiet home without children would probably be the best fit for him.

Additionally, after the elderly woman passed on, Mr. Doodles was forced to live off of her carcass until he was discovered by authorities. Mr. Doodles would be best suited for a home with large numbers of unsupervised, near-death seniors.

Jazz
Don’t let appearances fool you! I’m Jazz and I’m handi-CAPABLE, with a lust for life that might surprise you. I can do anything other dogs can do!

Wanna play fetch? Go for walks? Strap me into my wheels, inject me with 20cc’s of morphine and we’re good to go!

Penny
Penny is a goldfish looking for a good home! Anyone? No?

Perhaps this will tempt you...

Penny With Garlic

1 Goldfish
1 tb Fresh lime juice
1 tb Unsalted butter
5 tb Thinly sliced garlic
4 tb Fresh Cilantro

Rinse Penny and pat dry, then sprinkle Penny with lime juice. Cover Penny with plastic wrap and refrigerate for one hour.

Sauté garlic and butter. Be careful not
to burn or Penny will be bitter. Quickly
fry Penny 2-3 minutes per side, or until Penny is brown and crisp outside and just done on the inside. Sprinkle cilantro on Penny and serve.

Excelsior
We're not going to lie to you: Excelsior is a complete waste of your time. There are no redeeming qualities to this dog whatsoever. We can’t wait for the day when we can euthanize the little fucker.

Don’t bother asking what he did wrong. He knows!

XF1135-2
XF1135-2 Is a three-year-old year old Pitbull-Cyborg-Macaw mix. He’s a crime against nature, science, and most of the laws of god-fearing men. We’re also pretty sure he’s telepathically controlling the staff.

Anyone with strong psionic defenses should come to the Sunny Meadow Humane Society immediately and bring tungsten. XF1135-2 must have tungsten to live.

Roscoe
Roscoe would like to be your dog. Roscoe would like to watch you sleep. Roscoe will never tire. Roscoe will chase you. Roscoe will chase you until you fall. You cannot reason with Roscoe. Roscoe knows the iniquitous thoughts you think, and they displease him. Roscoe is deaf to your screams.

Roscoe must kill to impress Jodie Foster.

Roscoe is fully house-trained.

Choppy
Choppy is a special dog. Or what’s left of one after his unfortunate mower accident. However, he still has a lot of love to give and needs a good home. Just think how easy it will be to clean up after him and take him for walks! You can even still play catch with him, technically.

Or adopt Choppy for your kids, and tell them if they’re really good all year, Santa will bring the rest of him for Christmas. Huh? C’mon!