WASHINGTON D.C.

In a major upset in a day of turmoil in the GOP nominating race, it was released today that Rick Santorum’s sweater vest was the actual winner in the Iowa Caucus edging out powerhouse Mitt Romney’s pearly white smile by 8 votes. With 131 precincts reporting, but with 3 losing all of their data and 14 forgetting entirely that this wasn’t in fact voting for this coming season of American Idol. It seems that the GOP is calling this race a ‘split decision’ and moving on to South Carolina. But with Rick Perry stepping down to head back to running the country of Texas, a gap has been left in the GOP with pundits hoping for Newt Gingrich to really step-up in the crazy department otherwise almost all Americans will lose interest, fixated on whether Khloe Kardashian accepts that she is in fact not a REAL Kardashian.