http://i0.wp.com/nationallampoon.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/featured-image-template-NL-trump-taxes-1.png?fit=432%2C330 330 432 Kit Lively http://natlamp.mdudemo.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/tn_newszeplin_header_logo.png Kit Lively2016-08-23 17:48:052016-08-23 18:04:17Real, Genuine Reasons Donald J. Trump Is Refusing To Release His Tax Returns
Accidentally spilled a two liter of Big Red soda onto the form, and is embarrassed to ask for a new one.
Attempting to write-off his weekend at “Bill Cosby’s How To Pick Up Chicks” seminar.
Doesn’t want anyone to see that he dots his i’s with little hearts.
He’s looked everywhere, and he just can’t find them.
Trying to write off his organ-harvest clone-bodies as dependents.
Embarrassed that bulk of fortune is from selling Melania’s used underwear on Ebay.
He wrote some awesome cheat codes for Super Mario World in the margins, and doesn’t want to give them up.
As usual, he’s just being a dick.