Real, Genuine Reasons Donald J. Trump Is Refusing To Release His Tax Returns

Accidentally spilled a two liter of Big Red soda onto the form, and is embarrassed to ask for a new one.

Attempting to write-off his weekend at “Bill Cosby’s How To Pick Up Chicks” seminar.

Doesn’t want anyone to see that he dots his i’s with little hearts.

He’s looked everywhere, and he just can’t find them.

Trying to write off his organ-harvest clone-bodies as dependents.

Embarrassed that bulk of fortune is from selling Melania’s used underwear on Ebay.

He wrote some awesome cheat codes for Super Mario World in the margins, and doesn’t want to give them up.

As usual, he’s just being a dick.


Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….