The Real Reasons That Ringling Bros Are Shutting Down

Bankrupt after having to bail out so many clowns who had been arrested on To Catch A Predator.

Animals kept getting killed by Donald Trump’s sons.

Bad couple of weeks last year during which all of the trapeze artists had a really bad stomach virus with lots of vomiting and diarrhea, and no budget to provide tarps for the audience.

Homeless people used to feed lions turned out to have nosy relatives.

Lots and lots of baby spiders in the cotton candy.

Unable to compete with the circus that is the American political system.

Their attempt to do their own version of The Bachelor with the guy who cleans up all of the animal waste proved to be unpopular.

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….