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Other Surefire Ways to Get Kicked Out of CPAC

 

Organizers for the Conservative Political Action Conference rescinded their speaking invitation to Milo Yiannopoulos after the conservative blogger made some shocking comments condoning relationships between children and men. This clearly crossed a line, as CPAC did not seem to have any issues with the controversial provocateur’s prior hateful attacks on feminism, racial minorities, or transgender people. This suggests this organization has some very specific rules about what’s acceptable to them, such as these…

 

Other Surefire Ways to Get Kicked Out of CPAC:

 

You show up to the conference driving a Toyota Prius Plug-in-Hybrid.


The name on your conference badge is Ahmed, Omar, Abdullah, Hamza, or Clooney.


You list Barbara Bush, Hillary Clinton, and Sarah Palin, in that order, when playing a game of Fuck/ Marry/ Kill with a conference goer.


You believe wearing white sheets after Labor Day is a fashion faux pas.


You feel Ronald Reagan’s performance as the Gipper in Knute Rockne, All American was somewhat stilted and banal.


You can’t stop raving about that new restaurant you discovered on Yelp! that serves a very spicy Halal chicken couscous with traditional kanafeh pastries for dessert.


The only TED Talks that have inspired you were not given by Cruz.


You don’t believe the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting was an off-off-Broadway performance art production.


Verifiable facts, the scientific method, critical thinking, rational thought, and logical reasoning are not trigger words that send you into frenzied convulsions or a Twitter tantrum.


You bought the January 1973 issue of the National Lampoon because you did not want the dog on the cover to get killed.


Written by J.K. Radomski

J.K. Radomski

J.K. Radomski is a Canadian freelance writer whose words have appeared in newspapers such as The Seattle Post-Intelligencer and The Rocky Mountain News, as well as a number of magazines and trade publications like The Hollywood Reporter. He enjoys one-hit-wonders from the ‘80s, binge watches a lot of TV, drinks Lagavulin, and contemplates the lives of pygmy marmosets in his spare time. Follow him on Twitter @tvwriter

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