originals
featured-image-template-nl-malik

Surprise Guests of the 3rd 2016 Presidential Debate!

Today’s CNN report cited the guests invited to tonight debate by Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Both sides clearly trying to rattle the other. Trump has invited President Barack Obama’s Kenyan-born half-brother, Malik. Hillary Clinton will be joined at Wednesday’s debate by two well-known billionaires who are backing her campaign, Meg Whitman and Mark Cuban. However, those are just the boring guests. Here are the real surprises:

 

[Donald Trump]

Guy who kind of looks like Willie Ames if he were 92 years old and a woman

Armenian lady who uses a ventriloquist puppet to hypnotize snakes

Norangurel (lower demon from Hell, Lucifer unavailable, sends his best regards)

Veteran with severe dementia who won’t stop biting people and using the n word.

Bottle of formaldehyde containing lumpy Siamese twin remains.

Time-displaced Vanna White with futuristic explosives sewn into her abdomen


 

[Hillary Clinton]

Hillary Clinton impersonator who can break-dance

Guy who wrote an episode of Laverne & Shirley (editor’s correction: Laverne & Shirley fan fiction, with robots and full penetration)

The Time-Warner Cable operator that she chatted with for an hour and a half the other day.

Kong in a Thong (on loan from LaBare)

Third-Place winner of TGI Friday’s “World’s Wackiest Moustache” competition

One of those guys with a beard of bee’s, but he has regular seizures, so it’s very much an “edge of your seat” kind of deal.

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….

Comments

comments