Today’s CNN report cited the guests invited to tonight debate by Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Both sides clearly trying to rattle the other. Trump has invited President Barack Obama’s Kenyan-born half-brother, Malik. Hillary Clinton will be joined at Wednesday’s debate by two well-known billionaires who are backing her campaign, Meg Whitman and Mark Cuban. However, those are just the boring guests. Here are the real surprises:
Guy who kind of looks like Willie Ames if he were 92 years old and a woman
Armenian lady who uses a ventriloquist puppet to hypnotize snakes
Norangurel (lower demon from Hell, Lucifer unavailable, sends his best regards)
Veteran with severe dementia who won’t stop biting people and using the n word.
Bottle of formaldehyde containing lumpy Siamese twin remains.
Time-displaced Vanna White with futuristic explosives sewn into her abdomen
Hillary Clinton impersonator who can break-dance
Guy who wrote an episode of Laverne & Shirley (editor’s correction: Laverne & Shirley fan fiction, with robots and full penetration)
The Time-Warner Cable operator that she chatted with for an hour and a half the other day.
Kong in a Thong (on loan from LaBare)
Third-Place winner of TGI Friday’s “World’s Wackiest Moustache” competition
One of those guys with a beard of bee’s, but he has regular seizures, so it’s very much an “edge of your seat” kind of deal.