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Other Things That The Kremlin Would Like An Apology For

President Trump’s interview with Bill O’Reilly on Fox News really hit a nerve with the Kremlin over the weekend. They were offended by the term ‘killers’ and have asked Fox News to issue an apology. But this isn’t the first time Russia has asked the US for an apology, some other things that the Kremlin would like an apology for have been piling up for a while…


“Making us the villains in one of your Police Academy movies.”


“Off-brand ranch flavored potato chips. Makes breath smell like farts, and we cannot afford fancy mouthwash!”


The Macarena. Really, what the fuck was that about?”


“Russian YouPorn. Why is different from regular YouPorn? Ladies are very ugly, and too hairy. All over hairy!”


The Real Housewives of Vladivostok. What is this nonsense? Show is boring. Housewives just lay around moaning, and then eventually starve to death. Not exciting at all.”


“When we get drunk on vodka and then decide to slap our wives, it’s so cold that their faces can’t even feel it. Not sure how exactly this your fault, but pretty sure it must be.”


“Russian version of Twister is one color only, and that color is gray. What is this bullshit?”


“Moscow Star Trek convention has only one guest, a frog-man alien extra from original series? Are you serious? I spend much money to get in, and while wearing Spock ears made from orange Play-Doh, and this is what I get? What the fuck, guys?”


Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….

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