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The TV Beat- What To DVR Tonight!

Sandra’s Café

Hilarious antics ensue when Sandra and the gang accidentally serve cheeseburger pate’ to a vegan Satanist. ( Tuesday, 7pm, FOX) 


CS-Ike, Mississippi

In this premiere episode of the ninth season, Det. Ambrose and her team continue their mission of investigating domestic violence cases involving Ike Turner. ( Wednesday, 10pm, CBS) 


The Human Centipede

New series spin off of the popular movie franchise, in which the human centipede must pretend to be gay in order to fool the landlord when moving in with two attractive, single females. The twist here is that one of the segments is actually gay! And one of the other segments has been dead for several months. Hilarity ensues! (Sunday, 8:30 pm, TBS) 


CHaPs 

Two hunky police detectives, wearing nothing but a badge and a pair of tight-fitting, leather chaps, investigate crimes in the seedier sections of West Hollywood. Tonight: The Case Of The Glory Whole Foods Massacre. (Fridays, 11:30 pm, Logo)


VH1 Best Of 80’s Underground Latin Woodwind Disco 

A group of celebrities that you’ve never seen talk endlessly about songs that you’ve never heard of. (Saturday, 8:00 pm, VH1)


The Continuing Adventures Of Dildo Dan

Dan continues his countrywide travels, still trying to answer the question of why people refer to him as “Dildo Dan”, and to implore with them to please stop, as it really hurts his feelings. (Tuesday, 9pm, FOX) 


Celebrity President

Donald Trump has changed his mind, and decided that he doesn’t like being the President. If you win his new reality show, you could be the President instead! Even if you come in second, or third place, you could still be the President. C’mon, please… somebody! Lou Ferrigno? Charo? C’mon! (Monday, 8:00 pm, NBC) 


Mamma Buli-Mia

Energetic, joyous musical and dance numbers, punctuated by bouts of intense vomiting. Aired during the dinner hour for our sisters with anorexia. (Wednesday, 7:00 pm, ABC) 


 

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….

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