What Trump Did Right During the Debate

Didn’t bite anyone.

(on-stage at least; and even Reagan took a nibble or two out of backstage lackeys prior to his debate with Mondale)

Didn’t use his fecal matter to draw a swastika on the front of his podium.

(I lost twenty bucks on that one)

Was close enough to Clinton to honk her boob, but didn’t.


Provided a clear, concise, well thought-out overview of the problems facing our nation.

(Ha! Psyche! Just checking to see if you were paying attention.)

Despite his threats, did not leave genitals exposed during debate.

(editor’s note: our fact checkers tell us that this actually is untrue; the genitals were indeed exposed, but cameras were unable to pick them up successfully)

Didn’t trip on stage.

(tripping over own idiotic words doesn’t count in this context)

Let Hillary win the debate on purpose, as in his heart of hearts, he’s a chivalrous, decent guy.

Brought enough Skittles for everyone.

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….